SlashdotQuotes

The Cheap Energy Revolution Is Here, and Coal Won't Cut It - Slashdot (Coal is the single WORST way to get energy)

The Cost of Hobbies

Ask Slashdot: Has Your Team Ever Succumbed To Hype Driven Development? - Slashdot (Ten steps and you're on your way to Hype Driven Development)

48 Organizations Now Have Access To Every Brit's Browsing Hstory - Slashdot (The US has already gone down the slippery slope with regard to freedom.)

by AlanBDee ( 2261976 ) on Thursday January 14, 2016 @02:20PM (#51301623)

Instead of [click-bait] here are some real sources... (Score:4, Insightful) by AlanBDee ( ( 2261976 ) ) on Thursday January 14, 2016 @02:20PM (#51301623)

Code Complete 2 was the most influential book I read on how to keep it simple.
The Pragmatic programmer taught me how to stick it to my manager and push for more time/testing
Refactoring taught me how to clean up the code written by developers who didn't read these books.
Clean Code brings it all together.
These books provide much better information on the topic and deserve a place on your shelf alongside the GoF's Design Patterns.

Windows 10 Upgrade Reportedly Starting Automatically On Windows 7 PCs - Slashdot

Ask Slashdot: How Much Did Your Biggest Tech Mistake Cost? - Slashdot (Satellite failures - Monty Python Style)

Ask Slashdot: How Much Did Your Biggest Tech Mistake Cost? - Slashdot

North Carolina Town Defeats Big Solar's Plan To Suck Up the Sun - Slashdot The KKK tries to adopt a section of highway for trash removal

North Carolina Town Defeats Big Solar's Plan To Suck Up the Sun - Slashdot "What, in your opinion, would be the best solution the problem of food shortages in the the rest of the world?"

Programming Education: Selling People a Lie? - Slashdot John Roger's insightful comment on Kung Fu Monkey (about Atlas Shrugged)

B-52s: The Plane That Refuses To Die - Slashdot "The B-52 has the power of 8 locomotives..."

Sci-Fi Author Joe Haldeman On the Future of War - Slashdot (Lyrics to "A War For The Ratings" by Joe Haldeman)

Patton Oswalt Recruited For New MST3K Cast - Slashdot (A poster most fowl)

#51033687 (On Freedom)

Gambling Could Reveal Which Scientific Studies Are Worth Their Salt - Slashdot (The $1,000 confidence level)

Full Text of Trans-Pacific Partnership Released (Officially, This Time) - Slashdot (Crash course in economic theory)

NY Times Passes 1M Digital Subscribers - Slashdot (NY Times / Washington Post / Wall Street Journal)

Google Wants To Monitor Your Mental Health - Slashdot

Arrangement With Science Publisher Raises Questions About Wikipedia's Commitment To Open Access - Slashdot (Wikipedia scandals)

Elon Musk's Latest Idea: Let's Nuke Mars - Slashdot (Loyal henchman application)

Criminal Inquiry Sought Over Hillary Clinton's Personal Email Server - Slashdot
Criminal Inquiry Sought Over Hillary Clinton's Personal Email Server - Slashdot
Judge Orders State Dept, FBI To Expand Clinton Email Server Probe - Slashdot

Citi Report: Slowing Global Warming Could Save Tens of Trillions of Dollars - Slashdot (Tar sands tailing ponds)

Happy Birthday, Linux! An OS At 24 - Slashdot (Linux Grows Up - 1991 to 2015)

Ask Slashdot: Buying a Car That's Safe From Hackers? - Slashdot (I give you, the 2001 Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor)

Interviews: Ask Engineer and L5 Society Cofounder Keith Henson a Question - Slashdot (How to make space solar beamed power safe and effective)

Are We Reaching the Electric Car Tipping Point? - Slashdot (A new economic theory)

Twilight of the Bomb - Slashdot (That is a moral argument to be sure, which was the point of the show, to ask the question of the viewer, "are there times when the ends justify the means, when any price is acceptable to obtain the outcome desired?" Is the freedom and safety of a trillion people worth that?)

Those were the best days of my life ...

HERF Gun: Make it in your basement - Slashdot (Directed energy weapons, lethal and non-lethal)

Sharp Announces Sales of DC Powered Air Conditioner, Other Products To Follow - Slashdot AC/DC

Criminal Inquiry Sought Over Hillary Clinton's Personal Email Server - Slashdot

Criminal Inquiry Sought Over Hillary Clinton's Personal Email Server - Slashdot

The Real-Life Dangers of Augmented Reality - Slashdot (US Driving)

When Will Your Hard Drive Fail? - Slashdot (Is your data...saved?)

Reasons To Use Mono For Linux Development - Slashdot (Why developing on Microsoft platforms is dangerous)

Yes, Minister: The floods of 1967

How Overhauling IT Was a Life-Saver For the American Cancer Society - Slashdot (The lost balloonist)

How Overhauling IT Was a Life-Saver For the American Cancer Society - Slashdot (The shepherd and the stranger)

SoylentNews Comments | A Perfect ACT Score Couldn't Get this Student into Yale, Princeton, or Stanford (What to do to make yourself look "upper class")

Slashdot and SoylentNews Quotes

SoylentNews Comments | A Perfect ACT Score Couldn't Get this Student into Yale, Princeton, or Stanford

Nerve Cells Made From Blood Cells - Slashdot (Rats and Mazes - how to make proper controls on experiments)

Why PowerPoint Should Be Banned - Slashdot

Ask Slashdot: Will Technology Disrupt the Song? - Slashdot (The structure of songs)

World Health Organization Has New Rules For Avoiding Offensive Names - Slashdot (On the need for marketable terms for illnesses)

Don't Trust the Cloud

Tattoos Found To Interfere With Apple Watch Sensors - Slashdot (the trials and tribulations of a $10,000 iWatch owner)

USGS: Oil and Gas Operations Could Trigger Large Earthquakes - Slashdot (increased incidences of earthquakes after fracking)

Apple Leaves Chinese CNNIC Root In OS X and iOS Trusted Stores - Slashdot (How to disallow CNNIC Root Cert in OS X)

The Courage of Bystanders Who Press "Record" - Slashdot

Ask Slashdot: Good Keyboard? - Slashdot (different kinds of keyboards)

Why You Should Choose Boring Technology - Slashdot (JavaScript Frameworks)

FBI Building App To Scrape Social Media - Slashdot (Spook Story - Trigger Words)

Why Is the Grand Theft Auto CEO Also Chairman of the ESRB? - Slashdot (How the Danish Determine Film Content Ratings)

Ubuntu To Officially Switch To systemd Next Monday - Slashdot

Gemalto: NSA and GCHQ Probably Hacked Us, But Didn't Get SIM Encryption Keys - Slashdot (Weasel words reworded)

Leonard Nimoy Dies At 83 - Slashdot

Leonard Nimoy Dies At 83 - Slashdot (comment 49148043)

Leonard Nimoy Dies At 83 - Slashdot (comment 49148225)

The Imitation Game Fails Test of Inspiring the Next Turings - Slashdot

How NSA Spies Stole the Keys To the Encryption Castle - Slashdot (NSA hard drive links)

Aggression

Can Twitter and Facebook Deal With Their Dead? - Slashdot (Facebook updates from the Great Beyond)

Why Gmail Has Better Security Than Your Bank - Slashdot (grammatically correct, other than being a run-on sentence)

Microsoft Reveals Windows 10 Will Be a Free Upgrade - Slashdot (Windows 3.11 to Windows 10)

Simon Pegg On Board To Co-Write Next Star Trek Film - Slashdot (Why the Star Trek reboot is nothing like the originals)

Neil DeGrasse Tyson Explains His Christmas Tweet - Slashdot (where all the components of Christmas come from)

Overly Familiar Sci-Fi - Slashdot (A normal morning, what words or concepts are new?)

The World Is Not Falling Apart - Slashdot (The Newsroom: America is no longer the greatest country in the world)

Uber Pushing For Patent On Surge Pricing - Slashdot (Problems with Uber)

Judge Rules Drug Maker Cannot Halt Sales of Alzheimer's Medicine - Slashdot

Excuse Me While I Kiss This Guy: The Science of Misheard Song Lyrics - Slashdot (Steely Dan Mondegreen - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)

Excuse Me While I Kiss This Guy: The Science of Misheard Song Lyrics - Slashdot (Steely Dan Mondegreen)

Preferred Type of Game? - Slashdot (Why board games are better than video games)

Ask Slashdot: Dealing With Electronics-Induced Inattentiveness? - Slashdot

How Sony, Intel, and Unix Made Apple's Mac a PC Competitor - Slashdot (A brief history of the final days of PPC at Apple)

Worcester Mass. City Council Votes To Keep Comcast From Entering the Area - Slashdot

Study: Multimedia Multitasking May Be Shrinking Human Brains - Slashdot (everything shrinks your brain)

Australian Senate Introduces Laws To Allow Total Internet Surveillance - Slashdot (How Harper has destroyed Canada)

Facebook's Atlas: the Platform For Advertisers To Track Your Movements - Slashdot (no tracking plugins for Chrome)

Forest Service Wants To Require Permits For Photography - Slashdot (What the Forest Service is really for)

First US Appeals Court Hears Arguments To Shut Down NSA Database - Slashdot (NSA and the Desolation of Smaug)

US spending on science, space, and technology correlates with Suicides by hanging, strangulation and suffocation
Students From States With Faster Internet Tend To Have Higher Test Scores - Slashdot (the "real" reason why eating cheese causes death by becoming tangled in one's bedsheets)
Per capita consumption of cheese (US) correlates with Number of people who died by becoming tangled in their bedsheets

C++14 Is Set In Stone - Slashdot "you can also write C++ that is not guaranteed to be maintainable by anybody short of a complete master, which even Bjarne says he is not"

Correcting Killer Architecture - Slashdot (Killer building near Chicago)

Ebola Quarantine Center In Liberia Looted - Slashdot "Reasons why Liberia is one of the most miserable parts of Africa"

Massive Russian Hack Has Researchers Scratching Their Heads - Slashdot (Spammers are using compromised accounts with stolen password hashes to send spam)

Massive Russian Hack Has Researchers Scratching Their Heads - Slashdot (Spammers are using compromised accounts to send spam)

Microsoft's CEO Says He Wants to Unify Windows - Slashdot

Ebola Outbreak Continues To Expand - Slashdot

Given Truth, the Misinformed Believe Lies More - Slashdot (Troll Rhapsody)

Verizon's Accidental Mea Culpa - Slashdot (Verizon fails to convince that Netflix is causing them problems)

Our Friend, The Meter - Slashdot (why is it 5 million metric tonnes?)

Our Friend, The Meter - Slashdot (Many wrong examples of conversion of a metre)

Our Friend, The Meter - Slashdot (What's that about the purity of English spelling?)

Our Friend, The Meter - Slashdot (American to British translation)

Our Friend, The Meter - Slashdot (rules of thumb for converting between Imperial and metric)

show of hands, would you ever get on a plane if you knew your company wrote the software that controls the airplane?

Mozilla Working On a New Website Comment System - Slashdot (Epic Movie Trailer)

Why China Is Worried About Japan's Plutonium Stocks - Slashdot (Coal vs. nuclear: coal can also make large areas uninhabitable)

Why Scientists Are Still Using FORTRAN in 2014 - Slashdot

Comcast CEO Brian Roberts Opens Mouth, Inserts Foot - Slashdot (Why Comcast is double-dipping by asking Netflix to pay them extra)

Kids With Wheels: Should the Unlicensed Be Allowed To 'Drive' Autonomous Cars? - Slashdot (Battlestar Galactica, BSG, Raiders reincarnate?)

Emory University SCCM Server Accidentally Reformats All Computers Campus-wide - Slashdot

Write in C

Commenters To Dropbox CEO: Houston, We Have a Problem - Slashdot (Dropbox and Condoleezza Rice)

Oracle Seeking Community Feedback on Java 8 EE Plans - Slashdot

Emails Reveal Battle Over Employee Poaching Between Google and Facebook - Slashdot (Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra!)

Job Automation and the Minimum Wage Debate - Slashdot ("socialist" programs in the USA)

Hacking Charisma - Slashdot (Intelligence vs. wisdom)

Anti-Game-Violence Legislator Arrested, Faces Gun Trafficking Charges - Slashdot (conservatives are being discriminated against)

Ask Slashdot: Can an Old Programmer Learn New Tricks? - Slashdot (The main web development languages suck)

Recent news events re: Bitcoin ... - Slashdot (De Beers hired Edward Bernays to promote their products, and our modern association of diamonds with marriage, love, and sexuality is entirely a result of Bernays' work. Here are some other things Bernays is directly responsible for...)

Recent news events re: Bitcoin ... - Slashdot (It's hard to explain Bitcoin to Kleptomaniacs...)

Google Blurring Distinction Between Ads and Organic Search Results - Slashdot (stylish override to hide Google ads)

"You realize that some antioxidants are actually carcinogenic and that increasing your intake of antioxidants may not have any healthful benefit, but may in fact be harming you?"

CanHasDIY writes, "You realize that some antioxidants areactually carcinogenic and that increasing your intake of antioxidants may not have any healthful benefit, but may in fact be harming you?"

CanHasDIY writes You realize that some antioxidants areactually carcinogenic and that increasing your intake of antioxidants may not have any healthful benefit, but may in fact be harming you?

Ancient Chinese Mummies Discovered In Cheesy Afterlife - Slashdot

1080p, Human Vision, and Reality - Slashdot (Why it's good to increase the limits on frame rate and pixels)

emmagsachs shares her understanding of Dice and Slashdot Beta

How Adobe Got Rid of Traditional Stack-Ranking Performance Reviews - Slashdot (these "teachable moments"...can the Slashdot overlords learn something?)

Not Just Healthcare.gov: NASA Has 'Significant Problems' With $2.5B IT Contract - Slashdot (in the running for the best troll ever re: beta)

Slashdot Tries Something New; Audience Responds! - Slashdot (Why the slashdot community is not an audience)

UK Council To Send Obese People 'Motivational' Texts Telling Them To Use Stairs - Slashdot (what's wrong with BMI)

How Voter Shortsightedness Skews Elections - Slashdot (how voters turn to mass media for news)

http://slashdot.org/?nobeta=1

Slashdot Design Changes for Wider Appeal - Slashdot (B5 quotes)

Ask Slashdot: What Online News Is Worth Paying For? - Slashdot (The five ways ads work)

Largest-Yet EVE Online Battle Destroys $200,000 Worth of Starships - Slashdot (when the CFC jumped in 12 carriers and EACH ONE lit a cyno I knew we were in for a ride)

23-Year-Old Chess Grandmaster Whips Bill Gates In 71 Seconds - Slashdot (The most important software deal in history)

Microsoft's IE Is the Most Targeted Application By Security Researchers - Slashdot (Some IE annoyances)

Super Bowl Ads: Worth the Price Or Waste of Time? - Slashdot (What is this super bowl thing?)

Super Bowl Ads: Worth the Price Or Waste of Time? - Slashdot (tuning in for the ads, not the show)

Ask Slashdot: What Do You Do If You're Given a Broken Project? - Slashdot (fixing your car)

Ask Slashdot: Are AdBlock's Days Numbered? - Slashdot (on the advertising "arms race")

Code Is Not Literature - Slashdot (the meta-narrative implied by errant GOTO statements)

Code Is Not Literature - Slashdot (Your audience is another human being...)

Blowing Up a Pointless Job Interview - Slashdot (Funny interview answers)

Blowing Up a Pointless Job Interview - Slashdot (Weakness: value stability too much)

Blowing Up a Pointless Job Interview - Slashdot ("none of you have the slightest idea of what stress or anger are")

Obama Announces Surveillance Reforms - Slashdot (Why did Obama campaign to improve privacy and then do a 180?)

Previously-Unseen Photos of Challenger Disaster Appear Online - Slashdot (money and technology)

95% of ATMs Worldwide Are Still Using Windows XP - Slashdot (Windows 8 for ATMs)

Ask Slashdot: How Can I Improve My Memory For Study? - Slashdot (Improving cognition and memory)

The Internet's Network Efficiencies Are Destroying the Middle Class - Slashdot (the death of Kodak)

The Other Exam Room: When Doctors 'Google' Their Patients - Slashdot (quotes about power, privilege and privacy)

Do Non-Technical Managers Add Value? - Slashdot (Sales vs. project management)

Ask Slashdot: How Long Will the Internet Remember Us? - Slashdot (The internet is a cybernetic entity)

What Sci-Fi Movies Teach Us About Project Management Skills - Slashdot

GM's CEO Rejects Repaying Feds for Bailout Losses - Slashdot (Complaints can be addressed to our Complaints Manager, Helen Waite...)

Exponential Algorithm In Windows Update Slowing XP Machines - Slashdot (net stop wuauserv)

Ask Slashdot: How Would You Secure Your Parents' PC? - Slashdot (hairyfeet recommends Paragon Backup and Recovery Free , Comodo AV Free and Comodo Time Machine)

NSA Tracking Cellphone Locations Worldwide - Slashdot (Possible meanings of evasive statement made by Robert Litt, general counsel for the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, which oversees the NSA)

China Prefers Sticking With Dying Windows XP To Upgrading - Slashdot (There are dark places in the universe...)

Oldest Human DNA Contains Clues To Mysterious Species - Slashdot (hominem/homonym/hominim)

Ask Slashdot: What Review Sites Do You Consult For IT Equipment? - Slashdot (Good review sites)

When they promised me ever-improving search tools, \\

I thought they meant they'd help me find what I wanted, \\

Washington Post: Assange 'Unlikely To Be Prosecuted In US' - Slashdot (I have all but concluded...)

When they promised me ever-improving search tools, in return for cluttering my lovely text-based Internet with GUI,

I thought they meant they'd help me find what I wanted, but instead they're helping strangers search for _me_.

— Anonymous Coward

Internet Archive's San Francisco Home Badly Damaged By Fire - Slashdot (Why keeping information around is useful/helpful)

Why Organic Chemistry Is So Difficult For Pre-Med Students - Slashdot "Practice is when everything works, and no one knows why. Theory is when nothing works, and everyone knows why. In this room we combine theory and practice, nothing works and no one knows why."

How Big Data Is Destroying the US Healthcare System - Slashdot (What if car insurance were like the ACA?)

Toyota's Killer Firmware - Slashdot (Problems Discovered with Toyota's Vehicle Software]]

US Adults Score Poorly On Worldwide Test - Slashdot (On why the poor in America are essentially slaves)

The Neuroscience of Happiness - Slashdot (Introverts vs. Extroverts)

Security. If you do it right, everyone thinks you have wasted your time. If you do it wrong, it is all your fault. \\

Security. If you do it right, everyone thinks you have wasted your time. If you do it wrong, it is all your fault. — SmallFurryCreature #45227709

'Pushback': Resisting the Life of Constant Connectivity - Slashdot (The Facebook Prison)

Student Arrested For Using Phone App To 'Shoot' Classmates - Slashdot (the school admins and police are insane)

How Amateurs Destroyed the Professional Music Business - Slashdot (Musicians used to be right above jesters)

How Amateurs Destroyed the Professional Music Business - Slashdot (Evocativeness used to be a given in music, but these days it has to be sought out.)

First Few Doctor Who Episodes May Fall To Public Domain Next Year - Slashdot (How to reform copyright)

Bennett Haselton's Response To That "Don't Talk to Cops" Video - Slashdot (One expert on criminal law recently noted "estimates of the current size of the body of federal criminal law vary, although it has been reported that the Congressional Research Service can no longer even count the current number of federal crimes.)

Activists Angry After Apple Axes Anti-Firewall App - Slashdot (Alliteration thread)

Medical Costs Bankrupt Patients; It's the Computer's Fault - Slashdot (Why the Free Market Cannot Provide Good Healthcare for Low Cost)

Snowden Shortlisted For Europe's Top Human Rights Award - Slashdot (Why Snowden deserves the award)

#44561765 "He was literally slitting his own throat- he was so brainwashed."

Medical Costs Bankrupt Patients; It's the Computer's Fault - Slashdot (Why per-person maximums on health insurance really are difficult to figure out)

US beats Europe at their own game: IP Protection

NSA Shares Intel On Americans With Israel - Slashdot (Weiner for president)

Snowden Nominated For Freedom of Thought Prize - Slashdot (A few people weigh in on the irony of the prize)

NRA Joins ACLU Lawsuit Against NSA - Slashdot ("Lovecraft had it right...")

Hollywood's Love of Analytics Couldn't Prevent Six Massive Blockbuster Flops - Slashdot (Best movie of the years 1982 to 2011, by Cederic and noh8rz10)

Why One Woman Says Sending Your Kid To Private School Is Evil - Slashdot (Why loving humanity is easier that loving one person)

Inspired By the Peter Principle: the Peter Pinnacle - Slashdot (When Fiorina "stepped down")

Apple Receives Patent For Accessing Sets of Apps With Different Passcodes - Slashdot (patent backronyms)

Social Media's Role In Peer Pressure - Slashdot (Meta FOMO)

Schneier: We Need To Relearn How To Accept Risk - Slashdot (Why the US Administration cannot afford another 9/11)

Obama Admin Says It Won't Fight Looser Marijuana Laws, With Conditions - Slashdot (A slew of pot related puns)

Galileo: Right On the Solar System, Wrong On Ice - Slashdot (Galileo offended the Pope by choosing his name for the "ignorant" person asking questions in Galileo's dialog)

Researchers Discover Way To Spot Crappy Coffee - Slashdot ("Delicacy" is a code word...)

Content Most Foul: the British Library's Nanny Filter Blocks 'Hamlet' - Slashdot (the diner scene re-imagined)

Google Blocks YouTube App On Windows Phone (Again) - Slashdot (Buying phones out of spite?)

Google Blocks YouTube App On Windows Phone (Again) - Slashdot (Has Microsoft repented on any of these things yet?)

Google Blocks YouTube App On Windows Phone (Again) - Slashdot (Has Microsoft Repented on any of these Things Yet?)

US Promises Not To Kill Or Torture Snowden - Slashdot

US To Standardize Car App/communication Device Components - Slashdot (the train horn)

How Do You Get Better Bug Reports From Users? - Slashdot

Scientists Silence Extra Chromosome In Down Syndrome Cells - Slashdot (keyword: pregnancy)

Ask Slashdot: How Do You Prove an IT Manager Is Incompetent? - Slashdot (Q: Of 700+ projects in a study, how many recovered once they were over budget at 15% completion?)

Colliding, Exploding Stars May Have Created All the Gold On Earth - Slashdot (mining puns)

James Bond's Creator, and the Real Spy Gadgets He Inspired - Slashdot (fun with alliteration)

NSA Spying Hurts California's Business - Slashdot (we would do way more damage to OURSELVES with our response to 9-11 than 9-11 or any other terrorist attack would ever do directly)

Upside-Down Sensors Caused Proton-M Rocket Crash - Slashdot (The square-peg round hole test)

"The Moon - A Ridiculous Liberal Myth"

Majority of Americans Say NSA Phone Tracking Is OK To Fight Terrorism - Slashdot (Why "I have nothing to hide" needs to die)

Pro Bono Lawyer Fights C&D With Humor - Slashdot ("I did write one of my suppliers a song, though")

Fortune Dump Displayed May 30, 2013

$30,000 For a Developer Referral? - Slashdot (One time I referred my buddy Dave...)

Physicists Create Quantum Link Between Photons That Don't Exist At the Same Time - Slashdot (Nature and nature's laws lay hid in night...)

Federal Judge Dismisses Movie Piracy Complaint - Slashdot (Why is $150,000 damages right for a $9 movie?)

How European Startups Are Battling Labor Laws For Developers and Programmers - Slashdot (What happens in a labour race to the bottom)

Today Is International Day Against DRM - Slashdot (We need an International Day Day...)

Can You Really Hear the Difference Between Lossless, Lossy Audio? - Slashdot (Normal people use their stereo...)

MySQL Founders Reunite To Form SkySQL

Your Moral Compass Is Reversible - Slashdot (Yes set, survey)

'CodeSpells' Video Game Teaches Children Java Programming - Slashdot (Try tekkit for minecraft, it will give you a mod called computercraft...)

Yokohama Accidentally Tweets That NK Missile Is Inbound - Slashdot (Twitter is clearly no good for a warning system as there was no widespread panic)

Firefox 20 Arrives With Per-Window Private Browsing, New Download Manager - Slashdot (How to disable the new download "manager")

Should the US Really Limit Chinese-Government Influenced IT Systems? - Slashdot (Made in China)

Creationist Bets $10k In Proposed Literal Interpretation of Genesis Debate - Slashdot (Is Genesis 1 inconsistent with Genesis 2?)

Creationist Bets $10k In Proposed Literal Interpretation of Genesis Debate - Slashdot (In the beginning GOD created the Bit and the Byte. And from those he created the Word...)

Game Site Wonders 'What Next?' When 50% of Users Block Ads - Slashdot (Xeno man asks, "Did you think about the poor families that worked at Blockbuster? Did you try renting movies while others were streaming them?".)

Game Site Wonders 'What Next?' When 50% of Users Block Ads - Slashdot (Anonymous Coward Has a Plan to End Advertising...)

Modeling Color Spaces With Blender - Slashdot (Is my orange the same as your orange? No.)

Fox News: US Solar Energy Investment Less Than Germany Because US Has Less Sun - Slashdot (The difference between Comedy Central and Fox News)

Finding Fault With Anti-Fracking Science Claims - Slashdot

Steve Jobs Threatened Palm To Stop Poaching Employees - Slashdot (Working at Palm vs. Apple)

Why The Hobbit's 48fps Is a Good Thing - Slashdot (bad dubs mean better quality!)

OS X Mountain Lion Review - Slashdot (Meta-meta commenting)

How a 3-Year-Old Can Open a Gun Safe - Slashdot (attack of the puns)

30 Days Is Too Long: Animated Rant About Windows 8 - Slashdot

Google Didn't Delete All Street View Wi-Fi Data - Slashdot

Mr. Spammer, you swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas. I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you. P.S. You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine,conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good. In other words, go away. Your mother is a whore and the daughter of a whore. Your father was likely her brother, but could have been any of her cousins. I'd have a second deliver a card on a silver platter, but your kind generally wouldn't understand it, and doesn't deserve much more than a dog-whipping anyway. You havn't got a clue. You couldn't get a clue if you smeared yourself with clue musk and danced the clue mating dance in a field full of horny clues in clue mating season. Your eyebrows meet in the middle, your forehead slopes, your pet gerbil wants you dead. Your mother would dress you funny if she could afford clothes. You're the primary reason bigots hate your ethnic group. You were obviously not toilet-trained correctly, which explains the stains on the floor of your cardboard box. Your webbed feet go well with the pointy forehead. Your manners are hideous, your brain minute, and your body odor could fell an ox. You would fit in on a short bus to a convention of Fundies. You are a living, breathing poster-child for birth-control and abortion. I hope you go away painfully.

US DOJ Claims It Did Not Entrap Megaupload - Slashdot (Shed Burglars)

How Apple v. Samsung Was Explained To the Jury - Slashdot (A baseball metaphor)

MS Windows meets Battle Mech

Additive Manufacturing (3D Printing), Gun Control, and Patent Law - Slashdot (See, I told you they'd listen to Reason)

How Do You Prove Software Testing Saves Money? - Slashdot (Why taking coding shortcuts now for long-term maintenance cost increases can make sense)

Book Reviews: Lockpicking Books From Deviant Ollam - Slashdot (Why to get pick-resistant locks even though they are still relatively easy to bypass)

C Beats Java As Number One Language According To TIOBE Index - Slashdot (Why the TIOBE Index is Not Accurate)

FBI Publishes Top Email Terms Used By Corporate Fraudsters - Slashdot

Sake/Nihonshu

Brewing Saké in Texas for Fun and Profit (Video) - Slashdot Applekid (993327) #42475911

Your Hands Were Made For Punching According To New Study - Slashdot (humans are substantially more violent?)

the 4 Cardinal Laws of firearm safety

Boeing Uses 20,000 Lbs. of Potatoes To Check Aircraft Wireless Network Signals - Slashdot (Chicken cannon)

Kodak Patents Sold for $525 Million - Slashdot (illustration of the complete moral bankruptcy of those in the patent space)

Your asynch program is like something from a 19th century gothic horror story.

Altered Immune Cells Help Girl Beat Leukemia - Slashdot (Donating bone marrow for treatment of leukemia)

Brain Cells Made From Urine - Slashdot (from the Third Book of Emissions)

Shut Up and Play Nice: How the Western World Is Limiting Free Speech - Slashdot (There are only two things I can't stand in this world...)

Shut Up and Play Nice: How the Western World Is Limiting Free Speech - Slashdot (If you're only being good because God is going to punish you -- are you really a good person?)

Shut Up and Play Nice: How the Western World Is Limiting Free Speech - Slashdot (Free speech only needs protection when it offends someone -- otherwise it wouldn't need protection at all)

US Security Classifications Needs Re-Thinking, Says Board - Slashdot "The military view of security (from the part that uses weapons) is that information needs to be protected only until the enemy can't use it."

Ask Slashdot: What Would It Take For Developers To Start Their Own Union? - Slashdot (Unions in Germany are working well)

Mother Found Guilty After Protesting TSA Pat-down of Daughter - Slashdot (On voting for the lesser evil)

Mother Found Guilty After Protesting TSA Pat-down of Daughter - Slashdot (Backscatter X-Rays expected to kill 9 people a year from cancer)

Mother Found Guilty After Protesting TSA Pat-down of Daughter - Slashdot (Why the US is now a police state)

#42128755 (The shocking truth behind Jar Jar...)

Could Testing Block Psychopaths From Senior Management? - Slashdot (Is it possible to be too empathic when making business decisions?)

Apple Acknowledges iPhone 5 Camera Flaw - Slashdot (bug poem)

Disney to Acquire Lucasfilm, Star Wars Episode 7 Due In 2015 - Slashdot (Harmy's STAR WARS Despecialized Edition)

Disney to Acquire Lucasfilm, Star Wars Episode 7 Due In 2015 - Slashdot (the next trailer...)

Ask Slashdot: How To Deal With a DDoS Attack? - Slashdot (The Dane-geld poem)

Ask Slashdot: The Search For the Ultimate Engineer's Pen - Slashdot (Why blood makes a poor pigment for penning)

Judge To Newspaper - Reveal Name of Commenter - Slashdot (How a brain surgeon got out of jury duty)

Glenn Beck Reports CIA Plot Between Embassy Killing and Something Awful - Slashdot (the beginning of Goonswarm)

Are Teachers Headed For Obsolescence? - Slashdot (Why standardized tests don't work for students in Chicago)

Microsoft Surface Review: a Tale of Two Tablets - Slashdot (Why is Windows 8 described as "scary"?)

Randomly Generated Article Response and Counter-response

Random Citations for a Randomly Generated Article

World of Warcraft Character Becomes Campaign Issue - Slashdot (Doesn't matter whether you vote for Horde or Alliance)

Choices we are now faced with concerning the food we eat

Complex Systems Theorists Predict We're About One Year From Global Food Riots - Slashdot (Managed Grazing, Aquaponics, Pasture-cropping)

The Most Important Meeting You've Never Heard of - Slashdot Dubai: (Middle) East meets West

EVE Online CSM and Diplomat Killed in Libyan Consulate Attacks - Slashdot Why did we give guns and training to the people of Afghanistan again?

First Impressions of Windows 8 Powered Nokia Lumia 920 and 820 - Slashdot: In memoriam: Microsoft's previous strategic mobile partners

Linux Is a Lemon On the Retina MacBook Pro - Slashdot: Why would someone want to install Linux on a MacBook Pro?

Steve Ballmer: We Won't Be Out-Innovated By Apple Anymore - Slashdot (a vision of the future of technology)

Why We Love Firefox, and Why We Hate It - Slashdot (Firefox is the greatest browser, with advanced features to benefit every user at a profound spiritual level)

Why We Love Firefox, and Why We Hate It - Slashdot (Dear Mozilla, I tried to keep the love alive. I really did.)

Wall Street and the Mismanagement of Software - Slashdot (protecting the stock market from us in the same way NASCAR has walls)

Algorithmic Trading Glitch Costs Firm $440 Million - Slashdot (High frequency grocery trader)

Bad Software Runs the World - Slashdot (how to demonstrat[e] to someone non-technical the concrete monetary value of a technical solution at work)

Secret Security Questions Are a Joke - Slashdot (Bruce Schneier shares his list of security questions)

Has the Command Line Outstayed Its Welcome? - Slashdot (the difference between a GUI and a CLI)

"Twisted" OAM Beams Carry 2.5 Terabits Per Second - Slashdot epic fail in the syllogism of demand (Score:3) (experience comes from bad judgement...)

Tech Manufacturing Is a Disaster Waiting To Happen - Slashdot (Talkie Toaster vs. Lister)

Icelandic Court Rules: Wikileaks Will Get Contributed Credit Card Money - Slashdot (We, in Europe, and the USA, have much to learn from Iceland about how to survive a crippling financial crisis.)

Icelandic Court Rules: Wikileaks Will Get Contributed Credit Card Money - Slashdot (Yeah, like NOT putting the very people responsible for the bank's failures in powerful government positions.)

Higgs Boson

#40554045 (There will be an immediate and nearly catastrophic increase...)

#40555181 (Faith vs. Science)

Ask Slashdot: What Are the Implications of Finding the Higgs Boson? - Slashdot (two great applications, the Higgs diet and a bag of holding)

Ask Slashdot: What Are the Implications of Finding the Higgs Boson? - Slashdot (on the value of knowledge)

Re:It's not Optimism, (Score:5, Funny)
by TheRaven64 (641858) on Thursday April 26, @05:53PM (#39812969) Journal

Reading the bible, it's clear that God is deeply insecure and has about the emotional maturity of a two year old right through the old testament. In the new testament he gets laid and turns into a hippy.

This is how I beat well over half of the sinus infections I get - nasal irrigation works great.

However, sometimes the infection is stubborn and it resists 1-2 weeks of irrigation, staying in a steady state of no improvement. At that point I'll usually give in and start antibiotics, and with one exception (Normally my infections are triggered by normal colds initially, or allergies, in this case one of my peak allergy periods occurred two weeks AFTER the initial infection trigger, which was sewage-laden dust from the September 2011 Susquehanna flooding), they have always cleared up the infection in only a day or so.

I think the problem is that in the article given, the doctors in question are probably starting the antibiotics too early - if it's the first few days of "infection" it's very difficult to separate viral causes (just a cold), allergic causes, and actual bacterial causes. Now if you're at nearly 2 weeks of routine nasal irrigation and you have frequent bright yellow discharge restart 2-3 hours after you irrigate - at that point it's much more likely to be bacterial.

Second Neti-Pot Death From Amoeba Prompts Tap-Water Warning : Shots - Health Blog : NPR

So, it's true... (Score:5, Funny)
by king neckbeard (1801738) on Wednesday February 08, @05:33PM (#38973485)

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans.

Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It’s speaking English that kills you

(see below for partial rebuttal)

Re:So, it's true... (Score:4, Interesting)
by digitig (1056110) on Wednesday February 08, @05:57PM (#38973895)

On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans.

Myth, for what it's worth (and I know it was a joke). It turned out to be due to under-reporting of heart attacks by French doctors.

Entering Australian Customs

When Russian Jokes Go Too Far

DC Comics Announces "Before Watchmen" - Slashdot

Why Geeks Hate Sony

Penny Arcade - Sony Playstation: It Only Doesn’t
Penny Arcade - Editorializin’

Re:"Report Bug" clicky (Score:5, Informative)
by dj245 (732906) on Wednesday December 14, @01:57AM (#38366898) Homepage

I use Problem Steps Recorder on Windows 7 to report problems to my IT department. If you have a problem which occurs when you do a certain thing, it can be a great tool. Especially on web-based software or forms. Just type "PSR" into a command prompt or Start->run. It's a great tool.

(keywords: defect reporting, error reporting, bug reporting, tool)

North Korea Threatens South Korea Over Christmas Lights - Slashdot If you think about it, Santa is pretty scary.

Bill Gates Takes the Stand In WordPerfect Trial - Slashdot (Quotes from Trials with Microsoft)

Re:The Law of Unintended Consequences... (Score:5, Funny) by JustOK (667959) on Tuesday November 22, @12:21PM (#38137760) Journal

I don't think they understood what could happen when the passed that law.

What to say when you hear the government spent a ridiculous amount of money on something

The reason why allowing AT&T to buy T-Mobile is "epically, boneheadedly bad for the public interest" is as follows:

AT&T/T-Mobile Merger 'Not In the Public Interest' - Slashdot

B&N Pummels Microsoft Patent Claims With Prior Art - Slashdot (Hatta (162192) quotes Kipling's Dane-Geld)

OPERA Group Repeats Faster-Than-Light Neutrino Results - Slashdot

Speech analysis, welcome. (Score:5, Funny)
by 140Mandak262Jamuna (970587) on Saturday October 15, @11:24AM (#37723928) Journal

Hello, speech analysis, I am proud to welcome you to the select club of phrenology, graphology, astrology and numerology.

#37723980 (Here's how to change your speech patterns)

Re:All psychopaths...
by flosofl (626809) on Saturday October 15, @11:26AM (#37723934) Homepage

Your relationship with Logic makes me think you met it once at a party, shook its hand to be polite, and then moved on to talk to all the interesting people never giving it a second thought.

mr_mischief (456295) compares Steve Jobs and Dennis Ritchie

Re:What I don't get..
by Sockatume (732728) on Friday October 07, @10:18AM (#37638400) Homepage

I have an app with an exoplanet database. Every so often it goes "boop" and announces a new exoplanet has been detected and added to the database. It's like having a stock ticker for human awesomeness.

A Fat Man's Prayer

The Press Reacts To Steve Jobs' Departure — in 1985 - Slashdot (I remember the first time CmdrTaco stepped down)

Celebrities Flock To Reserve .xxx Domains - Slashdot

A Custom Objectionable Word List Ate My Homework - Slashdot (A bus stops and two men get on)

Getting Your Boss To Buy Lava Lamps - Slashdot (keywords: patch pumpkin)

Re:In my experience it depends on what you want (Score:3)
by Demonoid-Penguin (1669014) <no.damn.spam.int13NO@SPAMgmail.com> on Sunday August 14, @06:09AM (#37083988)

Google claims it so that they can add value to your search results (and I believe them - so far) - I'm paraphrasing "when Bob searches for malt he means beer, when Jill searches for malt she means whiskey".

As for tracking - turn off geolocation in Firefox, wipe your cookies, and try out the new https://encrypted.google.com/ [google.com]

With everyone outsourcing, the social pyramid is going to fall

BiPod Flying Car Makes (Short) Test Flights - Slashdot

#36803776

The future is like that toy you always wanted as a kid, once you get it, it is not quite like how you hoped it would be.
— jellomizer (103300)

Apologies to Mick, Keith and company (keywords: I see a black roof and I want it painted white)

They once told tales...of the wicked king Gate

Sony Music Greece Falls To Hackers - Slashdot (Recipe for Sony's Cracking Disaster)

Bing Adds 'Like' Button - Slashdot

Bose quality (Score:3, Interesting)
by FTL (112112) writes: <slashdotNO@SPAMneil.fraser.name> on Saturday April 30, @11:55PM (#35988420)

True story: An elderly gentleman walked into an electronics store in Toronto looking to buy speakers. The salesman showed him a couple of different models. The customer pointed at another set on the shelves and asked about them. The salesman said "Oh, those are Bose, they're crap." The customer was Amar Bose.

Osama Bin Laden Reported Dead, Body In US Hands - Slashdot Sasayaki argues they should have brought him in alive (perhaps he hadn't yet heard Osama and Co. were using human shields)

Osama Bin Laden Reported Dead, Body In US Hands - Slashdot SmallFurryCreature says, "No, I don't think we can [breathe] a sigh of [relief] just yet."

Re:Reverse outsourcing? No. (Score:4, Insightful)
by jd (1658) writes: <imipak AT yahoo DOT com> on Sunday April 17, @09:44PM #35851632

Ok, I can buy your argument on greed and artificial constructs. As for your .sig, the Brits used espionage to steal tea secrets from the Chinese. As I said, all nations have used theft to get ahead. (For those interested in the history of tea, the Brits used to drink coffee. They switched to tea to protest government efforts to shut down the trade unions and other "unapproved" organizations. America switching to coffee as a protest against essentially the same government for essentially the same practices is one of history's greatest ironies.)

Reuters Minas Tirith - Mordor Inc. has announced the release of Ring of Power Open Source Version

For the Price of the Latest Video Card you could buy an XBOX 360, a PS3, or...

Lenovo's ThinkPads Are Good Buys

First Mac OS X Virus? - Slashdot: Users Go Through Five Stages of Grief

NASA Readies Discovery Shuttle For Final Flight: First female commander earns praise for "safe, if overly cautious" flying (may be considered sexist or misogynistic)

House Passes Amendment To Block Funds For Net Neutrality - Slashdot (We managed to build and deploy a high quality (at the time) electricity network...water delivery infrastructure...interstate and state level highway system...rails before that...deployed the telephone network) So why can't the US build a faster internet?

Steve Jobs Health Worries Escalate - Slashdot (Netcraft confirms it: Steve Jobs is dying.)

Sony Unveils First PlayStation Phone: TheRedDuke says "Late to the Party"

Corporate Mood Translator

Programmer / Manager Hot Air Balloon Joke

Re:The blurb misses something in the proposition. (Score:5, Funny)
by spun (1352) writes: <`moc.oohay' `ta' `yranoituloverevol'> on Monday January 03, @03:48PM (#34747276) Journal

I refuse to let anyone tell me what to do, especially past-me. Who does that fucker think he was, making decisions for me? When he told our wife "I'll pick up groceries on the way home," did he have any idea how tired I would be after work? No, and he didn't care, because it's not him picking up the groceries, he is gone, he is only a shadow of the past, and I am the one who has to pick up the groceries. Well, fuck it. It's not like I'm hungry now. If future me gets hungry, he can get his own damn food. But knowing him, he'll blame me for not getting it for him now, the sanctimonious prick.

Moore's Law of DNA

Scarletdown Muses over Bizarre "Gore is Fine but Sex is Not" Dichotomy

Pun Thread for: AT&T Goes After Copper Wire Thieves

Facebook To Own the Word "Face" - Slashdot (1! 2! 3! 4! I call an IP war!)

This is clearly a mis-steak! (Score:2, Funny)
by gestalt_n_pepper (991155) writes: on Thursday November 11, @10:06AM (#34196360)

I've got a bone to pick with that pork-barrel study, but after we chew the fat together, I won't have a beef with them anymore - unless they're too chicken, in which case something fishy may be going on.

Re:Hmm (Score:5, Insightful) by MyLongNickName (822545) writes: on Tuesday October 12, @12:26PM (#33871552) Journal

So if I Tivo a soccer match and replay it, then the players have no free will? Essentially that is the Christian concept of God. He exists in the past, present and future and knows how everything will turn out.

Granted, I have a problem with free will but choose to believe in it because I was predestined to....

Triple Car Collision

Shooting Yourself in the Foot in Each Programming Language

In the beginning was the Plan.

And then came the Assumptions.

And the Assumptions were without form.

And the Plan was without substance.

And darkness was upon the face of the workers.

And they spoke among themselves, saying, "It is a crock of shit, and it stinks."

And the workers went unto their Supervisors and said, "It is a pail of dung, and we can't live with the smell."

And the Supervisors went unto their Managers, saying "It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."

And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying "It is a vessel of fertilizer and none may abide its strength."

And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying to one another, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."

And the Directors went to the Vice Presidents, saying unto them, "It promotes growth, and it is very powerful."

And the Vice Presidents went to the President, saying unto him, "This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigor of the company with powerful effects."

And the President looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good.

And the Plan became Policy.

And that is how shit happens.

Re:Frequencies (Score:5, Funny)
by dunkelfalke (91624) writes: <dunkelfalkeNO@SPAMspeznas.de> on Wednesday May 12, @01:36AM (#32179272) Homepage

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun.

When he got to the Creek, he saw a beaver sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the beaver fell dead. What do you think of that?" The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."

Tablets are the future (on how modern PCs are so annoying)

Mac, PC, and the iPhone that "got away"

William Safire's Rules for Writers

Re:Made into a ring

Re:Grunt (Score:5, Funny)
by Kral_Blbec (1201285) writes: on Monday September 07, @11:24AM (#29341253)

Statistics are like bikinis.

What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is critical.

Re:Oh, the naivete. (Score:5, Funny)
by Monkeedude1212 (1560403) writes: on Tuesday February 02, @06:32PM (#31002750) Journal

Since when have facts ever got in the way of a 'good' conspiracy theory?

There was one once, but they covered it up, I swear it.

Re-enactment Top 10 Wishlist

the internet has been called the wild west (Score:5, Funny)
by circletimessquare (444983) <circletimessquareNO@SPAMgmail.com> on Monday December 14, @10:41AM (#30431552) Homepage

and the parallel holds, since the end of the real wild west consisted of the feds moving into lawless lands and taking over from vigilante, ad hoc systems of justice, just like this proposal. that was pretty much the historical end of the real wild west

so i'm waiting for the internet's version of "dodge city", where tourists can go and experience the vicarious thrill of driveby downloading, phishing exploits, nigerian email scams, and id theft, much like in the real "dodge city", gunfights at high noon and cattle rustling are now recreated for tourist's sake

"wow dad, i was browsing the dancing hamster website with the purple gorilla in the taskbar on the windows ME simulation, and like, i just got pwned! the simulation showed me as the payload modified the registry settings in the simulation! was it really like that in the bad old days?"

"that's right son, when your dad was your age browsing the internet, you always had your sidearm antivirus at the ready. craven desperate men and psychotic outlaws were always just around the corner, a click away. you had to deal with danger and treachery on a daily basis"

"gee dad, did you actually get an email from belarus claiming to be citibank asking for your security credentials out of concern for your security?"

"sure did"

"that's scary dad! how did the early internet pioneers ever survive in such a hostile wilderness. how did we ever make it this far?"

"sometimes i wonder myself son"

Re: "Bad Code Offsets"

Lutherans (Score:5, Funny)
by Anonymous Coward on Thursday December 03, @03:06PM (#30315278)

As a Catholic, let me tell all you greens and bad coders that letting people buy their way out of their sins just gets stuff nailed to your door. But good luck with it anyway.

Re:Why wouldn't they? (Score:5, Insightful)
by Eil (82413) on Wednesday December 02, @08:57PM (#30306526) Homepage Journal

Well, there is still a problem. I can't speak for any of the other social networking sites, but Facebook in particular puts fairly strong emphasis on the concept of publishing information publicly (viewable by anyone) versus publishing information privately (viewable only by "friends", ostensibly). 90% of their users don't grok the concept that putting anything online at all by definition means that the information they post is now beyond their control. Sure, their terms of service say that they can do this but the public has been trained by corporations to not take such contracts seriously, let alone read them.

Sites like Facebook should not be allowed to use the word "private," because their definition of the word actually means, "viewable by your friends, every Facebook employee, law enforcement and investigative agencies, and other undisclosed entities that we sell, lease, or give your information to."

I'm not saying Facebook is doing anything illegal or underhanded, nor am I saying that users shouldn't be bound to the contracts that they agree to no matter how small the print. Just that Facebook and most other online services are seriously misrepresenting their use of the word "private."

Re:The hiss is where it hides (Score:5, Funny)
by plover (150551) * on Wednesday November 18, @01:03AM (#30140300) Homepage Journal

• Although I would be the first to agree that there is a lot of snake-oil around in the so-called "audiophile" market, there is a place for everything.

• Snake oil? Nonsense.

Everybody calls stuff they don't understand "snake oil", and it's kind of a mistake in the high end audio market. Snake oil is the preferred suspension media for high-end tweeter frames. It is used to fill the struts that mechanically isolate the speaker from the cabinet, ensuring the only hiss you get is that which was on the original recording.

And despite what the so-called audiophiles say, you only have to replace it annually, not quarterly. Snake oil doesn't break down as fast as the other common organic oils (cod or shark liver oil is what most manufacturers recommend,) so it retains its useful viscosity for up to several years. It's absolutely a good idea to replace it before it degrades, but since it's only slightly more expensive than fish oils (at $16.00/ounce [oldwestsnakeoil.com]) when you change it annually it's actually a bargain.

The only problem with snake oil is that since it is an organic oil, it is susceptible to bacterial infection. An infected cylinder doesn't really affect the sound, but the oil tends to give off a foul odor if you let it sit around too long. Some people have tried smearing vaseline around the exposed ends of the inner cylinders to seal the oil so it won't stink, but I think that can affect the sound and I wouldn't recommend it.

Oh, and be sure to get a good quality measuring syringe to change the oil. Being off by more than a few mL can affect the travel of the struts, and that either leaves a mess on the shelf, or raspy highs.

Re:You're accidentally correct (Score:5, Interesting)
by sunspot42 (455706) on Wednesday November 18, @02:33AM (#30140776)

I'm sorry, but this simply isn't the case. Vinyl absolutely cannot "contain" any loud low frequency stereo signal - at least, nothing that was put there intentionally. The groove would become so shallow the needle would pop out of it and go skidding across the platter. You might be able to record a very soft low-frequency signal onto vinyl, but given the way human hearing works, that would almost certainly be masked by louder low frequency signals further up the audio spectrum in the music. Unless you like to sit around and listen to the output of a pure tone generator, this isn't really much of an "advantage" for vinyl.

Vinyl's inability to handle even moderately loud low bass is the reason why the sound of dance music changed so much starting in the mid-'80s - eventually resulting in things like house music - as CDs became popular and suddenly you could record deep bass at maximum volume and deliver it to consumers unaltered. I recall hearing Pet Shop Boys "I Want A Dog" in 1988 or thereabouts on a high-end sub/sat system at an audio dealer and thinking, "Holy crap! How did they get the bass so loud?" It felt like I'd swallowed a subwoofer it was so loud. You couldn't physically deliver anything like that on vinyl - you would have to roll the deep bass off by many decibels or the groove would literally go flat. Even most consumer tape formats would have had trouble handling that much low-frequency signal, especially given the tape duplication methods used at that time (although at least they'd fail less spectacularly, with tape's fairly warm-sounding saturation).

Discos in the '70s could pump out that kind of deep bass, but they did it using a gadget from dbx called a subharmonic synthesizer, which would produce a note exactly an octave below whatever you fed into it. They'd feed your typical vinyl recording with its anemic bass into the device, and get this pulsating, throbbing audio out. But until CD came around there was no way to deliver that to the home, maybe short of half-speed mastered reel to reel or (possibly) metal cassette tape.

You do get all sorts of low frequency signal coming off of vinyl when you play it, but it's mostly noise - rumble from the motor and pickup in the turntable itself, the scraping of the needle in the groove, low-frequency resonances induced by the playback speakers, and harmonics and low-frequency noise etched into the master itself when that was being cut. All of that garbage robs power from your amplifier and causes scads of distortion in your speakers, screwing up the real signal you're trying to reproduce. It's just another way in which vinyl is not only an awful audio format, but a spectacularly awful audio format. It's not just awful because of what it can't accurately record, it's awful because of all of the noise and artifacts it introduces which cause further distortion of what it has managed to accurately record.

As for high frequency data, yes vinyl can record signals higher than the 20kHz limit of CD, but if you're over 13 and live in the West it's unlikely you can hear any of it. Worse, each time you play a record the needle actually damages it, and the high frequencies are damaged the first and the worst. That's one of the many reasons why the old discrete quad format failed back in the '70s - it used ultrasonic multiplexing to record the quad signal, and that signal rapidly degraded with every playback. Whoops! (The matrix quad formats - which didn't rely on ultrasonics - failed for other reasons.) Beyond that, the vast majority of what signal there is over 20kHz on most vinyl records is pure unadulterated noise which has absolutely nothing to do with the original signal that was recorded. It's hiss, it's harmonic distortion induced in both the cutting head and in your pickup's needle by lower-frequency signals, it's from clicks and pops caused by dust or by imperfections in the surface of the vinyl itself, or it's high-frequency electronic noise, either from the recording studio or from your own playback equipment.

In fact, most studio microphones aren't even sensitive to frequencies beyond 20kHz, and signals above that are often automatically rolled off in the studio in order to eliminate any ultrasonic noise, which can cause freaky non-linear behaviors in tape recorders as well as in certain circuits. Beyond that, the instruments most likely to generate any significant signals in excess of about 15kHz are the cymbals in drum kits, and those are almost always recorded with mics which top off at around 18kHz, well below the CD's frequency limit. There's been a ton of double-blind testing conducted over the years regarding ultrasonic signals, and at the levels they'd naturally occur at in music nobody can tell the difference between a signal that's cut off at 20kHz and one that isn't.

Vinyl is a really sh*tty audio format, and has been for decades. There's been better technology kicking around out there since at least the 1960's, and it's amazing vinyl lasted as long as it did. If it hadn't been displaced by CD it almost certainly would have been killed off by the lowly cassette, which by the end of its own far shorter commercial lifespan had evolved from a lowly dictation medium into a pretty high-fidelity audio format. It had its own shortcomings, but done right - which pre-recorded cassettes seldom were - it was certainly capable of blowing vinyl away in every relevant measure, including frequency response, signal to noise ratio, dynamic range and especially harmonic distortion. Not only did the cassette suffer from less harmonic distortion, the distortion it did suffer from was far less annoying.

When I see "audiophiles" wax poetic about vinyl or shell out thousands of dollars on vinyl kit, or brag about vinyl's performance relative to CD, I just shake my head. It would be like spending $75,000 to buy a Pacer or a Gremlin, and then trying to compare it to a new Porsche 911. I mean, sure you can compare it, but not favorably!

Re:4chan (Score:4, Insightful)
by petrus4 (213815) on Thursday November 12, @07:35PM (#30081866) Homepage Journal

Mod parent +5,000, Insightful.

Seriously; if maintaining your level of faith in the compassion, empathy, and fundamental decency of the human species is something you care about, don't ever visit 4chan.

That site is very little more than a showcase of the very worst, morally, psychologically, and emotionally, that humanity is capable of.

Re:Evacuate this universe! (Score:5, Funny)
by Anonymusing (1450747) on Friday November 06, @10:11AM (#30005790)

Reminds me of a joke.

In a park far away, two statues stood staring at each other across a fountain. One was a beautiful woman, the other a handsome man, both naked. One day, an angel appeared, waved his hand, and brought the statues to life. "You have been staring at each other for so long," said the angel, "that I would like to give you 30 minutes to enjoy each other's company."

The two people grinned at each other and ran into the bushes. The angel heard much giggling and merriment from them as he waited. Then, sweaty and out of breath, the two came back.

The angel looked at his watch. "You still have another ten minutes!"

"Awesome!" said the man to the woman. "This time, you hold the pigeon and I'll shit on his head!"

Re:125 MORE years until the US gets time... (Score:4, Interesting)
by niktemadur (793971) on Wednesday October 21, @08:06AM (#29821739)

...

Neil DeGrasse Tyson did a gentleman's job at explaining the concept during a lecture available on the web:

• The Greeks named the constellations (while inventing the concept), so we still use the Greek names for them.
• The great Islamic culture of a thousand years ago named the visible stars, so we still use the Arab names (Alnitak, Alnilam, Mintaka, Rigel and Betelgeuse, to name a few just from Orion). FWIW, my favorite star name is the tip of the Big Dipper's handle - Al Kaid, which means "leader of the mourning maidens".
• The Brits invented the modern system of correspondence and postage, so their stamp is the only one that does not specify the country of origin, to this day.
• The North Americans invented the Internet, so USA websites are dot-com, while the rest of the world uses dot-com-dot-suffix.

All I'm saying is, in a modern world with thousands of pockets of eccentric engineers, it's comforting to find examples of global standardization, and the time zones is one of them.

The Helicopter Problem

Re:From what I've discovered... (Score:5, Funny)
by tomhudson (43916) <hudson@vidPOLLOCKeotron.ca minus painter> on Sunday October 18, @04:42PM (#29786745) Journal

"How would you like your eggs?"

"Dead".

"Very funny. How would you like your eggs served?"

"On a plate would be a good start."

"No, I mean, how would you like them cooked?"

"On a stove?"

"Do you want them sunny-side up, scrambled, poached, or over easy?"

"Yes. That's certainly better than raw."

"Which one?"

"You mean I have to choose which egg I want cooked? You can't do them both?"

"How do you want your eggs?"

"You can't do them the way I want them."

"We can do them ANY way you want them."

"Okay, then I want them for free."

Re:From what I've discovered... (Score:5, Funny)
by Nerdfest (867930) on Sunday October 18, @06:10PM (#29787485)

Dude, you're going to get your eggs with saliva.

Re:Recent Stonehenge Excavations (Score:5, Interesting)
by osu-neko (2604) on Sunday October 04, @05:14AM (#29633613)

| | Pip, pip cheerio. Ring 'round for some scones and tea, eh guvnuh?

| You seem to have started on 'aristocrat', gone via 'edwardian mill-owner' and ended up on 'hackney carriage driver'.

Yes, alas, a lot of Americans don't seem to grasp that there are many quite different British accents. It all gets lumped into one non-existent "British accent", presumably spoken by aristocratic Scottish chimney sweeps born to the sound of the Bow Bells in Victorian-era Calcutta, growing up as Oxford educated street urchins in the back-alleys of Serbiton and eventually settling down in the East End of Cardiff.

Re:Geek funeral? (Score:5, Insightful)
by Beardo the Bearded (321478) on Wednesday September 30, @12:52AM (#29589407)

I want nothing left of my corpse.

Give any useful organs away. Let a child see a sunset through my corneas; let my heart break again in the ribcage of a teenager; let my lungs have their breath taken away when holding a new infant.

My skeleton can inspire and educate biology students. My brain can shed new light on diseases, either ones I don't know I have yet or as a control group.

When I'm dead, I'm done with the meatsack. Anyone who wants it can have it.

Ahoy, me hearty! (Score:2, Funny)
by Memroid (898199) on Saturday September 19, @04:14AM (#29474991)

T' me,
Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho,
It's "Talk Like A Pirate" Day!
That time in September when sea dogs remember
That grown-ups still know how ta play!
When wenches are curvy and dogs are all scurvy
And a soft-wear patch covers your eye,
Ta hell with our jobs, for one day we're all swabs
And buccaneers all till we die!

So hoist up the mainsils and shut down your brain cells,
They only would get in the way,
Avast there, me hearty, we're havin' a party,
It's "Talk... Like... A Pirate" Day!

On Scientific Experimentation of Airborne Necromancy (i.e. launching dead squirrels)

How many Camera Nerds (Score:5, Funny)
by Kagato (116051) on Sunday January 04, @02:58PM (#26322143)

How many NYC transit cops does it take to push a camera nerd down the stairs?

None, he tripped.

On what to do when life gives you lemons...

Travel THROUGH TIME (Score:4, Funny)
by soupforare (542403) <soupforare@gmail.com> on Monday June 01, @08:41PM (#28176169)

Take your lemons, go get some oranges, limes, cheap wine (Gallo Hearty Burgundy), cheap rum (Castillo gold) and good ginger ale (Polar). Thinly slice up half your fruit, put it in a big pitcher with a cup of sugar, a cup of rum and the wine. Let it soak in the fridge for 24-48 hours. Strain, add freshly sliced fruit (I like adding sliced strawberries now) and just enough ginger ale to give it a little bubbles. DRINK

WARNING: Time travel only occurs in one direction
You may or may not arrive with your pants

Summer of 79 by Bill Gates (Score:5, Funny)
by InsertWittyNameHere (1438813) on Monday July 27, @10:27AM (#28836877)

I got my first real PC
Bought it at the CompUSA
Coded 'til my fingers bled
It was summer of '79

Me and some guys from school
Had a company and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit and Jody got married
I shoulda known we'd never get far

Oh when I look back now
That summer seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Ya - I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life ...

Re:Morton's Fork (Score:5, Funny)
by Herby Sagues (925683) on Monday August 24, @10:20PM (#29181241)

Mr. Spammer, you swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas. I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you. P.S. You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine,conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good. In other words, go away. Your mother is a whore and the daughter of a whore. Your father was likely her brother, but could have been any of her cousins. I'd have a second deliver a card on a silver platter, but your kind generally wouldn't understand it, and doesn't deserve much more than a dog-whipping anyway. You havn't got a clue. You couldn't get a clue if you smeared yourself with clue musk and danced the clue mating dance in a field full of horny clues in clue mating season. Your eyebrows meet in the middle, your forehead slopes, your pet gerbil wants you dead. Your mother would dress you funny if she could afford clothes. You're the primary reason bigots hate your ethnic group. You were obviously not toilet-trained correctly, which explains the stains on the floor of your cardboard box. Your webbed feet go well with the pointy forehead. Your manners are hideous, your brain minute, and your body odor could fell an ox. You would fit in on a short bus to a convention of Fundies. You are a living, breathing poster-child for birth-control and abortion. I hope you go away painfully.

Kodak Patents Sold for $525 Million - Slashdot (illustration of the complete moral bankruptcy of those in the patent space)

Your asynch program is like something from a 19th century gothic horror story.

Altered Immune Cells Help Girl Beat Leukemia - Slashdot (Donating bone marrow for treatment of leukemia)

Brain Cells Made From Urine - Slashdot (from the Third Book of Emissions)

Shut Up and Play Nice: How the Western World Is Limiting Free Speech - Slashdot (There are only two things I can't stand in this world...)

Shut Up and Play Nice: How the Western World Is Limiting Free Speech - Slashdot (If you're only being good because God is going to punish you -- are you really a good person?)

Shut Up and Play Nice: How the Western World Is Limiting Free Speech - Slashdot (Free speech only needs protection when it offends someone -- otherwise it wouldn't need protection at all)

US Security Classifications Needs Re-Thinking, Says Board - Slashdot "The military view of security (from the part that uses weapons) is that information needs to be protected only until the enemy can't use it."

Ask Slashdot: What Would It Take For Developers To Start Their Own Union? - Slashdot (Unions in Germany are working well)

Mother Found Guilty After Protesting TSA Pat-down of Daughter - Slashdot (On voting for the lesser evil)

Mother Found Guilty After Protesting TSA Pat-down of Daughter - Slashdot (Backscatter X-Rays expected to kill 9 people a year from cancer)

Mother Found Guilty After Protesting TSA Pat-down of Daughter - Slashdot (Why the US is now a police state)

#42128755 (The shocking truth behind Jar Jar...)

Could Testing Block Psychopaths From Senior Management? - Slashdot (Is it possible to be too empathic when making business decisions?)

Apple Acknowledges iPhone 5 Camera Flaw - Slashdot (bug poem)

Disney to Acquire Lucasfilm, Star Wars Episode 7 Due In 2015 - Slashdot (Harmy's STAR WARS Despecialized Edition)

Disney to Acquire Lucasfilm, Star Wars Episode 7 Due In 2015 - Slashdot (the next trailer...)

Ask Slashdot: How To Deal With a DDoS Attack? - Slashdot (The Dane-geld poem)

Ask Slashdot: The Search For the Ultimate Engineer's Pen - Slashdot (Why blood makes a poor pigment for penning)

Judge To Newspaper - Reveal Name of Commenter - Slashdot (How a brain surgeon got out of jury duty)

Glenn Beck Reports CIA Plot Between Embassy Killing and Something Awful - Slashdot (the beginning of Goonswarm)

Are Teachers Headed For Obsolescence? - Slashdot (Why standardized tests don't work for students in Chicago)

Microsoft Surface Review: a Tale of Two Tablets - Slashdot (Why is Windows 8 described as "scary"?)

Randomly Generated Article Response and Counter-response

Random Citations for a Randomly Generated Article

World of Warcraft Character Becomes Campaign Issue - Slashdot (Doesn't matter whether you vote for Horde or Alliance)

Choices we are now faced with concerning the food we eat

Complex Systems Theorists Predict We're About One Year From Global Food Riots - Slashdot (Managed Grazing, Aquaponics, Pasture-cropping)

The Most Important Meeting You've Never Heard of - Slashdot Dubai: (Middle) East meets West

The Most Important Meeting You've Never Heard of - Slashdot Dubai

EVE Online CSM and Diplomat Killed in Libyan Consulate Attacks - Slashdot Why did we give guns and training to the people of Afghanistan again?

First Impressions of Windows 8 Powered Nokia Lumia 920 and 820 - Slashdot: In memoriam: Microsoft's previous strategic mobile partners

Linux Is a Lemon On the Retina MacBook Pro - Slashdot: Why would someone want to install Linux on a MacBook Pro?

Steve Ballmer: We Won't Be Out-Innovated By Apple Anymore - Slashdot (a vision of the future of technology)

Why We Love Firefox, and Why We Hate It - Slashdot (Firefox is the greatest browser, with advanced features to benefit every user at a profound spiritual level)

Why We Love Firefox, and Why We Hate It - Slashdot (Dear Mozilla, I tried to keep the love alive. I really did.)

Wall Street and the Mismanagement of Software - Slashdot (protecting the stock market from us in the same way NASCAR has walls)

Algorithmic Trading Glitch Costs Firm $440 Million - Slashdot (High frequency grocery trader)

Bad Software Runs the World - Slashdot (how to demonstrat[e] to someone non-technical the concrete monetary value of a technical solution at work)

Secret Security Questions Are a Joke - Slashdot (Bruce Schneier shares his list of security questions)

Has the Command Line Outstayed Its Welcome? - Slashdot (the difference between a GUI and a CLI)

"Twisted" OAM Beams Carry 2.5 Terabits Per Second - Slashdot epic fail in the syllogism of demand (Score:3) (experience comes from bad judgement...)

"Twisted" OAM Beams Carry 2.5 Terabits Per Second - Slashdot

Tech Manufacturing Is a Disaster Waiting To Happen - Slashdot (Talkie Toaster vs. Lister)

Icelandic Court Rules: Wikileaks Will Get Contributed Credit Card Money - Slashdot (We, in Europe, and the USA, have much to learn from Iceland about how to survive a crippling financial crisis.)

Icelandic Court Rules: Wikileaks Will Get Contributed Credit Card Money - Slashdot (Yeah, like NOT putting the very people responsible for the bank's failures in powerful government positions.)

Higgs Boson

#40554045 (There will be an immediate and nearly catastrophic increase...)

#40555181 (Faith vs. Science)

Ask Slashdot: What Are the Implications of Finding the Higgs Boson? - Slashdot (two great applications, the Higgs diet and a bag of holding)

Ask Slashdot: What Are the Implications of Finding the Higgs Boson? - Slashdot (on the value of knowledge)

This is how I beat well over half of the sinus infections I

"We sent our criminals to Australia, our religious nuts to America and our adventurers to our colonies - only the square people remained in Britain." - an anonymous Englishman I once met during my travels.

Anonymous Coward (comment ID #39952101)

Re:It's not Optimism, (Score:5, Funny)
by TheRaven64 (641858) on Thursday April 26, @05:53PM (#39812969) Journal

Reading the bible, it's clear that God is deeply insecure and has about the emotional maturity of a two year old right through the old testament. In the new testament he gets laid and turns into a hippy.

Sony Taking Down PSP Titles In Response To Vita Hackers - Slashdot "too overzealous"

Hobbit Pub Saved By Actors Stephen Fry and Sir Ian McKellen - Slashdot (Frodo Orders at a Tavern)

Science Reveals Why Airplane Food Tastes So Bad - Slashdot (The usefulness of your analogy...)

How Commodore has Changed Hands over the Years

Behold the Power of Anecdotal Evidence!

Physicists Discover Evolutionary Laws of Language - Slashdot When you graduate with a PhD in physics, you get three things...

The Pirate Bay Plans Servers In the Sky - Slashdot But shooting them down would be...

Edward Teller: Father of the Hydrogen Bomb - Slashdot There is no left wing in American politics. Even the Democrats lied about WMDs.

Ask Slashdot: Best Practices For Leaving an IT Admin Position? - Slashdot Leave two letters for your successor.

Re:In other news (Score:5, Interesting)
by silentcoder (1241496) on Friday March 09, @07:50AM (#39299411) Homepage

Maybe that's one reason why news concentrate on bad issues. (On the other hand, everything on the world is well - the news report just lists the exceptions!)

I'm inclined to Bruce Schneier's point of view. News must be new - and rare. Things that happen all the time aren't new or news and nobody cares to be informed about them - the result is news of things that are rare and infrequent. His conclusion: anything that's on the news is by definition too low a risk to worry about.

Startram — Maglev Train To Low Earth Orbit - Slashdot Use of magnetic fields to cure illness

TSA 'Warning' Media About Reporting On Body Scanner Failures? - Slashdot "[Osama] recognized that America was too strong to take down, and had to be weakened internally first. His plan was to destroy America's moral authority in the world. He wanted a more oppressive and heavy-handed America, to help build hate and opposition in the rest of the world. That was the objective of his terrorism."

Why Making Facebook Private Won't Protect You - Slashdot (Anyone asking for your Facebook account and password is asking you to commit a felony)

Re:I approve (Score:5, Interesting) \\

Re:I approve (Score:5, Interesting) by Christopher_G_Lewis (260977) writes: on Tuesday March 06, @12:17PM (#39262877) Homepage

Actually, in Chicago it's against the law to sleep on public transportation, but not illegal to talk on a cell phone (at a resonable volume).

Best quote I ever heard on the train: "Honey, I've got to hang up - everyone's looking at me like I'm 'That Guy' ". Got quite a laugh out of the other riders.

How Not To Resign as an IT Admin: Disgruntled Engineer Hijacks San Francisco's Computer System - Slashdot

Re:my favorite sinus remedy: simple, cheap (Score:4, Interesting)
by Andy Dodd (701) <atd7@cornELIOTell.edu minus poet> on Thursday February 16, @10:58AM (#39060871)

This is how I beat well over half of the sinus infections I get - nasal irrigation works great.

However, sometimes the infection is stubborn and it resists 1-2 weeks of irrigation, staying in a steady state of no improvement. At that point I'll usually give in and start antibiotics, and with one exception (Normally my infections are triggered by normal colds initially, or allergies, in this case one of my peak allergy periods occurred two weeks AFTER the initial infection trigger, which was sewage-laden dust from the September 2011 Susquehanna flooding), they have always cleared up the infection in only a day or so.

I think the problem is that in the article given, the doctors in question are probably starting the antibiotics too early - if it's the first few days of "infection" it's very difficult to separate viral causes (just a cold), allergic causes, and actual bacterial causes. Now if you're at nearly 2 weeks of routine nasal irrigation and you have frequent bright yellow discharge restart 2-3 hours after you irrigate - at that point it's much more likely to be bacterial.

Second Neti-Pot Death From Amoeba Prompts Tap-Water Warning : Shots - Health Blog : NPR

by digitig (1056110) on Wednesday February 08, @05:57PM (#38973895)

by king neckbeard (1801738) on Wednesday February 08, @05:33PM (#38973485)

So, it's true... (Score:5, Funny)
by king neckbeard (1801738) on Wednesday February 08, @05:33PM (#38973485)

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans.

Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It’s speaking English that kills you

(see below for partial rebuttal)

Re:So, it's true... (Score:4, Interesting)
by digitig (1056110) on Wednesday February 08, @05:57PM (#38973895)

On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans.

Myth, for what it's worth (and I know it was a joke). It turned out to be due to under-reporting of heart attacks by French doctors.

Entering Australian Customs

When Russian Jokes Go Too Far

DC Comics Announces "Before Watchmen" - Slashdot

Why Geeks Hate Sony

Penny Arcade - Sony Playstation: It Only Doesn’t
Penny Arcade - Editorializin’

Re:"Report Bug" clicky (Score:5, Informative)
by dj245 (732906) on Wednesday December 14, @01:57AM (#38366898) Homepage

I use Problem Steps Recorder on Windows 7 to report problems to my IT department. If you have a problem which occurs when you do a certain thing, it can be a great tool. Especially on web-based software or forms. Just type "PSR" into a command prompt or Start->run. It's a great tool.

(keywords: defect reporting, error reporting, bug reporting, tool)

North Korea Threatens South Korea Over Christmas Lights - Slashdot If you think about it, Santa is pretty scary.

Bill Gates Takes the Stand In WordPerfect Trial - Slashdot (Quotes from Trials with Microsoft)

Re:The Law of Unintended Consequences... (Score:5, Funny) by JustOK (667959) on Tuesday November 22, @12:21PM (#38137760) Journal

I don't think they understood what could happen when the passed that law.

What to say when you hear the government spent a ridiculous amount of money on something

The reason why allowing AT&T to buy T-Mobile is "epically, boneheadedly bad for the public interest" is as follows:

AT&T/T-Mobile Merger 'Not In the Public Interest' - Slashdot

B&N Pummels Microsoft Patent Claims With Prior Art - Slashdot (Hatta (162192) quotes Kipling's Dane-Geld)

OPERA Group Repeats Faster-Than-Light Neutrino Results - Slashdot

Speech analysis, welcome. (Score:5, Funny)
by 140Mandak262Jamuna (970587) on Saturday October 15, @11:24AM (#37723928) Journal

Hello, speech analysis, I am proud to welcome you to the select club of phrenology, graphology, astrology and numerology.

#37723980 (Here's how to change your speech patterns)

Re:All psychopaths...
by flosofl (626809) on Saturday October 15, @11:26AM (#37723934) Homepage

Your relationship with Logic makes me think you met it once at a party, shook its hand to be polite, and then moved on to talk to all the interesting people never giving it a second thought.

mr_mischief (456295) compares Steve Jobs and Dennis Ritchie

Re:What I don't get..
by Sockatume (732728) on Friday October 07, @10:18AM (#37638400) Homepage

I have an app with an exoplanet database. Every so often it goes "boop" and announces a new exoplanet has been detected and added to the database. It's like having a stock ticker for human awesomeness.

Entering Australian Customs

When Russian Jokes Go Too Far

DC Comics Announces "Before Watchmen" - Slashdot

Why Geeks Hate Sony

Penny Arcade - Sony Playstation: It Only Doesn’t
Penny Arcade - Editorializin’

Re:"Report Bug" clicky (Score:5, Informative)
by dj245 (732906) on Wednesday December 14, @01:57AM (#38366898) Homepage

I use Problem Steps Recorder on Windows 7 to report problems to my IT department. If you have a problem which occurs when you do a certain thing, it can be a great tool. Especially on web-based software or forms. Just type "PSR" into a command prompt or Start->run. It's a great tool.

(keywords: defect reporting, error reporting, bug reporting, tool)

North Korea Threatens South Korea Over Christmas Lights - Slashdot If you think about it, Santa is pretty scary.

Bill Gates Takes the Stand In WordPerfect Trial - Slashdot (Quotes from Trials with Microsoft)

Re:The Law of Unintended Consequences... (Score:5, Funny) by JustOK (667959) on Tuesday November 22, @12:21PM (#38137760) Journal

I don't think they understood what could happen when the passed that law.

What to say when you hear the government spent a ridiculous amount of money on something

The reason why allowing AT&T to buy T-Mobile is "epically, boneheadedly bad for the public interest" is as follows:

AT&T/T-Mobile Merger 'Not In the Public Interest' - Slashdot

B&N Pummels Microsoft Patent Claims With Prior Art - Slashdot (Hatta (162192) quotes Kipling's Dane-Geld)

OPERA Group Repeats Faster-Than-Light Neutrino Results - Slashdot

Speech analysis, welcome. (Score:5, Funny)
by 140Mandak262Jamuna (970587) on Saturday October 15, @11:24AM (#37723928) Journal

Hello, speech analysis, I am proud to welcome you to the select club of phrenology, graphology, astrology and numerology.

#37723980 (Here's how to change your speech patterns)

Re:All psychopaths...
by flosofl (626809) on Saturday October 15, @11:26AM (#37723934) Homepage

Your relationship with Logic makes me think you met it once at a party, shook its hand to be polite, and then moved on to talk to all the interesting people never giving it a second thought.

mr_mischief (456295) compares Steve Jobs and Dennis Ritchie

Re:What I don't get..
by Sockatume (732728) on Friday October 07, @10:18AM (#37638400) Homepage

I have an app with an exoplanet database. Every so often it goes "boop" and announces a new exoplanet has been detected and added to the database. It's like having a stock ticker for human awesomeness.

What to say when you hear the government spent a ridiculous amount of money on something

The reason why allowing AT&T to buy T-Mobile is "epically, boneheadedly bad for the public interest" is as follows:

AT&T/T-Mobile Merger 'Not In the Public Interest' - Slashdot

B&N Pummels Microsoft Patent Claims With Prior Art - Slashdot (Hatta (162192) quotes Kipling's Dane-Geld)

OPERA Group Repeats Faster-Than-Light Neutrino Results - Slashdot

Speech analysis, welcome. (Score:5, Funny)
by 140Mandak262Jamuna (970587) on Saturday October 15, @11:24AM (#37723928) Journal

Hello, speech analysis, I am proud to welcome you to the select club of phrenology, graphology, astrology and numerology.

#37723980 (Here's how to change your speech patterns)

Re:All psychopaths...
by flosofl (626809) on Saturday October 15, @11:26AM (#37723934) Homepage

Your relationship with Logic makes me think you met it once at a party, shook its hand to be polite, and then moved on to talk to all the interesting people never giving it a second thought.

mr_mischief (456295) compares Steve Jobs and Dennis Ritchie

Re:What I don't get..
by Sockatume (732728) on Friday October 07, @10:18AM (#37638400) Homepage

I have an app with an exoplanet database. Every so often it goes "boop" and announces a new exoplanet has been detected and added to the database. It's like having a stock ticker for human awesomeness.

B&N Pummels Microsoft Patent Claims With Prior Art - Slashdot (Hatta (162192) quotes Kipling's Dane-Geld)

OPERA Group Repeats Faster-Than-Light Neutrino Results - Slashdot

by flosofl (626809) on Saturday October 15, @11:26AM (#37723934) Homepage

Speech analysis, welcome. (Score:5, Funny)
by 140Mandak262Jamuna (970587) on Saturday October 15, @11:24AM (#37723928) Journal

Hello, speech analysis, I am proud to welcome you to the select club of phrenology, graphology, astrology and numerology.

#37723980 (Here's how to change your speech patterns)

Re:All psychopaths...
by flosofl (626809) on Saturday October 15, @11:26AM (#37723934) Homepage
Your relationship with Logic makes me think you met it once at a party, shook its hand to be polite, and then moved on to talk to all the interesting people never giving it a second thought.

mr_mischief (456295) compares Steve Jobs and Dennis Ritchie

Re:What I don't get..
by Sockatume (732728) on Friday October 07, @10:18AM (#37638400) Homepage

I have an app with an exoplanet database. Every so often it goes "boop" and announces a new exoplanet has been detected and added to the database. It's like having a stock ticker for human awesomeness.

A Fat Man's Prayer

The Press Reacts To Steve Jobs' Departure — in 1985 - Slashdot (I remember the first time CmdrTaco stepped down)

Celebrities Flock To Reserve .xxx Domains - Slashdot

A Custom Objectionable Word List Ate My Homework - Slashdot (A bus stops and two men get on)

Getting Your Boss To Buy Lava Lamps - Slashdot (keywords: patch pumpkin)

Re:In my experience it depends on what you want (Score:3)
by Demonoid-Penguin (1669014) <no.damn.spam.int13NO@SPAMgmail.com> on Sunday August 14, @06:09AM (#37083988)

Google claims it so that they can add value to your search results (and I believe them - so far) - I'm paraphrasing "when Bob searches for malt he means beer, when Jill searches for malt she means whiskey".

As for tracking - turn off geolocation in Firefox, wipe your cookies, and try out the new https://encrypted.google.com/ [google.com]

With everyone outsourcing, the social pyramid is going to fall

BiPod Flying Car Makes (Short) Test Flights - Slashdot

#36803776

The future is like that toy you always wanted as a kid, once you get it, it is not quite like how you hoped it would be.
— jellomizer (103300)

Apologies to Mick, Keith and company (keywords: I see a black roof and I want it painted white)

They once told tales...of the wicked king Gate

Sony Music Greece Falls To Hackers - Slashdot (Recipe for Sony's Cracking Disaster)

Bing Adds 'Like' Button - Slashdot

Bose quality (Score:3, Interesting)
by FTL (112112) writes: <slashdotNO@SPAMneil.fraser.name> on Saturday April 30, @11:55PM (#35988420)

True story: An elderly gentleman walked into an electronics store in Toronto looking to buy speakers. The salesman showed him a couple of different models. The customer pointed at another set on the shelves and asked about them. The salesman said "Oh, those are Bose, they're crap." The customer was Amar Bose.

Osama Bin Laden Reported Dead, Body In US Hands - Slashdot Sasayaki argues they should have brought him in alive (perhaps he hadn't yet heard Osama and Co. were using human shields)

Osama Bin Laden Reported Dead, Body In US Hands - Slashdot SmallFurryCreature says, "No, I don't think we can [breathe] a sigh of [relief] just yet."

Re:Reverse outsourcing? No. (Score:4, Insightful)
by jd (1658) writes: <imipak AT yahoo DOT com> on Sunday April 17, @09:44PM #35851632

Ok, I can buy your argument on greed and artificial constructs. As for your .sig, the Brits used espionage to steal tea secrets from the Chinese. As I said, all nations have used theft to get ahead. (For those interested in the history of tea, the Brits used to drink coffee. They switched to tea to protest government efforts to shut down the trade unions and other "unapproved" organizations. America switching to coffee as a protest against essentially the same government for essentially the same practices is one of history's greatest ironies.)

mr_mischief (456295) compares Steve Jobs and Dennis Ritchie

Re:What I don't get..
by Sockatume (732728) on Friday October 07, @10:18AM (#37638400) Homepage

I have an app with an exoplanet database. Every so often it goes "boop" and announces a new exoplanet has been detected and added to the database. It's like having a stock ticker for human awesomeness.

A Fat Man's Prayer

The Press Reacts To Steve Jobs' Departure — in 1985 - Slashdot (I remember the first time CmdrTaco stepped down)

Celebrities Flock To Reserve .xxx Domains - Slashdot

A Custom Objectionable Word List Ate My Homework - Slashdot (A bus stops and two men get on)

Getting Your Boss To Buy Lava Lamps - Slashdot (keywords: patch pumpkin)

by Demonoid-Penguin (1669014) <no.damn.spam.int13NO@SPAMgmail.com> on Sunday August 14, @06:09AM (#37083988)

Re:In my experience it depends on what you want (Score:3)
by Demonoid-Penguin (1669014) <no.damn.spam.int13NO@SPAMgmail.com> on Sunday August 14, @06:09AM (#37083988) Homepage

Google claims it so that they can add value to your search results (and I believe them - so far) - I'm paraphrasing "when Bob searches for malt he means beer, when Jill searches for malt she means whiskey".

As for tracking - turn off geolocation in Firefox, wipe your cookies, and try out the new https://encrypted.google.com/ [google.com]

With everyone outsourcing, the social pyramid is going to fall

BiPod Flying Car Makes (Short) Test Flights - Slashdot

#36803776

The future is like that toy you always wanted as a kid, once you get it, it is not quite like how you hoped it would be.
— jellomizer (103300)

Apologies to Mick, Keith and company (keywords: I see a black roof and I want it painted white)

They once told tales...of the wicked king Gate

Bing Adds 'Like' Button - Slashdot

Sony Music Greece Falls To Hackers - Slashdot (Recipe for Sony's Cracking Disaster)

Bing Adds 'Like' Button - Slashdot

Bose quality (Score:3, Interesting)
by FTL (112112) writes: <slashdotNO@SPAMneil.fraser.name> on Saturday April 30, @11:55PM (#35988420)

True story: An elderly gentleman walked into an electronics store in Toronto looking to buy speakers. The salesman showed him a couple of different models. The customer pointed at another set on the shelves and asked about them. The salesman said "Oh, those are Bose, they're crap." The customer was Amar Bose.

Osama Bin Laden Reported Dead, Body In US Hands - Slashdot SmallFurryCreature says, "No, I don't think we can [breathe] a sigh of [relief] just yet."

Osama Bin Laden Reported Dead, Body In US Hands - Slashdot Sasayaki argues they should have brought him in alive (perhaps he hadn't yet heard Osama and Co. were using human shields)

Osama Bin Laden Reported Dead, Body In US Hands - Slashdot Sasayaki argues they should have brought him in alive

Osama Bin Laden Reported Dead, Body In US Hands - Slashdot SmallFurryCreature says, "No, I don't think we can breath a sigh of [relief] just yet."

Re:Reverse outsourcing? No. (Score:4, Insightful)
by jd (1658) writes: <imipak AT yahoo DOT com> on Sunday April 17, @09:44PM #35851632

Ok, I can buy your argument on greed and artificial constructs. As for your .sig, the Brits used espionage to steal tea secrets from the Chinese. As I said, all nations have used theft to get ahead. (For those interested in the history of tea, the Brits used to drink coffee. They switched to tea to protest government efforts to shut down the trade unions and other "unapproved" organizations. America switching to coffee as a protest against essentially the same government for essentially the same practices is one of history's greatest ironies.)

Reuters Minas Tirith - Mordor Inc. has announced the release of Ring of Power Open Source Version

For the Price of the Latest Video Card you could buy an XBOX 360, a PS3, or...

Lenovo's ThinkPads Are Good Buys

First Mac OS X Virus? - Slashdot: Users Go Through Five Stages of Grief

NASA Readies Discovery Shuttle For Final Flight: First female commander earns praise for "safe, if overly cautious" flying (may be considered sexist or misogynistic)

House Passes Amendment To Block Funds For Net Neutrality - Slashdot (We managed to build and deploy a high quality (at the time) electricity network...water delivery infrastructure...interstate and state level highway system...rails before that...deployed the telephone network) So why can't the US build a faster internet?

Steve Jobs Health Worries Escalate - Slashdot (Netcraft confirms it: Steve Jobs is dying.)

Programmer / Manager Hot Air Balloon Joke

Sony Unveils First PlayStation Phone: TheRedDuke says "Late to the Party"

Corporate Mood Translator

Programmer / Manager Hot Air Balloon Joke

Re:The blurb misses something in the proposition. (Score:5, Funny)
by spun (1352) writes: <`moc.oohay' `ta' `yranoituloverevol'> on Monday January 03, @03:48PM (#34747276) Journal

I refuse to let anyone tell me what to do, especially past-me. Who does that fucker think he was, making decisions for me? When he told our wife "I'll pick up groceries on the way home," did he have any idea how tired I would be after work? No, and he didn't care, because it's not him picking up the groceries, he is gone, he is only a shadow of the past, and I am the one who has to pick up the groceries. Well, fuck it. It's not like I'm hungry now. If future me gets hungry, he can get his own damn food. But knowing him, he'll blame me for not getting it for him now, the sanctimonious prick.

Moore's Law of DNA

Scarletdown Muses over Bizarre "Gore is Fine but Sex is Not" Dichotomy

Pun Thread for: AT&T Goes After Copper Wire Thieves

Pun Thread for AT&T Goes After Copper Wire Thieves

Facebook To Own the Word "Face" - Slashdot (1! 2! 3! 4! I call an IP war!)

This is clearly a mis-steak! (Score:2, Funny)
by gestalt_n_pepper (991155) writes: on Thursday November 11, @10:06AM (#34196360)

I've got a bone to pick with that pork-barrel study, but after we chew the fat together, I won't have a beef with them anymore - unless they're too chicken, in which case something fishy may be going on.

Re:Hmm (Score:5, Insightful) by MyLongNickName (822545) writes: on Tuesday October 12, @12:26PM (#33871552) Journal

So if I Tivo a soccer match and replay it, then the players have no free will? Essentially that is the Christian concept of God. He exists in the past, present and future and knows how everything will turn out.

Granted, I have a problem with free will but choose to believe in it because I was predestined to....

Triple Car Collision

In the beginning was the Plan.

And then came the Assumptions.

And the Assumptions were without form.

And the Plan was without substance.

And darkness was upon the face of the workers.

And they spoke among themselves, saying, "It is a crock of shit, and it stinks."

And the workers went unto their Supervisors and said, "It is a pail of dung, and we can't live with the smell."

And the Supervisors went unto their Managers, saying "It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."

And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying "It is a vessel of fertilizer and none may abide its strength."

And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying to one another, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."

And the Directors went to the Vice Presidents, saying unto them, "It promotes growth, and it is very powerful."

And the Vice Presidents went to the President, saying unto him, "This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigor of the company with powerful effects."

And the President looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good.

And the Plan became Policy.

And that is how shit happens.

Shooting Yourself in the Foot in Each Programming Language

Shooting Yourself in the Foot in Each Language

Re:Frequencies (Score:5, Funny)
by dunkelfalke (91624) writes: <dunkelfalkeNO@SPAMspeznas.de> on Wednesday May 12, @01:36AM (#32179272) Homepage

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun.

When he got to the Creek, he saw a beaver sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the beaver fell dead. What do you think of that?" The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."

Tablets are the future (on how modern PCs are so annoying)

Mac, PC, and the iPhone that "got away"

William Safire's Rules for Writers

Re:Made into a ring

Re:Grunt (Score:5, Funny)
by Kral_Blbec (1201285) writes: on Monday September 07, @11:24AM (#29341253)

Statistics are like bikinis.

What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is critical.

Re:Oh, the naivete. (Score:5, Funny)
by Monkeedude1212 (1560403) writes: on Tuesday February 02, @06:32PM (#31002750) Journal

Since when have facts ever got in the way of a 'good' conspiracy theory?

There was one once, but they covered it up, I swear it.

Re-enactment Top 10 Wishlist

the internet has been called the wild west (Score:5, Funny)
by circletimessquare (444983) <circletimessquareNO@SPAMgmail.com> on Monday December 14, @10:41AM (#30431552) Homepage

and the parallel holds, since the end of the real wild west consisted of the feds moving into lawless lands and taking over from vigilante, ad hoc systems of justice, just like this proposal. that was pretty much the historical end of the real wild west

so i'm waiting for the internet's version of "dodge city", where tourists can go and experience the vicarious thrill of driveby downloading, phishing exploits, nigerian email scams, and id theft, much like in the real "dodge city", gunfights at high noon and cattle rustling are now recreated for tourist's sake

"wow dad, i was browsing the dancing hamster website with the purple gorilla in the taskbar on the windows ME simulation, and like, i just got pwned! the simulation showed me as the payload modified the registry settings in the simulation! was it really like that in the bad old days?"

"that's right son, when your dad was your age browsing the internet, you always had your sidearm antivirus at the ready. craven desperate men and psychotic outlaws were always just around the corner, a click away. you had to deal with danger and treachery on a daily basis"

"gee dad, did you actually get an email from belarus claiming to be citibank asking for your security credentials out of concern for your security?"

"sure did"

"that's scary dad! how did the early internet pioneers ever survive in such a hostile wilderness. how did we ever make it this far?"

"sometimes i wonder myself son"

by Anonymous Coward on Thursday December 03, @03:06PM (#30315278)

Lutherans (Score:5, Funny) \\

Re: "Bad Code Offsets"

Lutherans (Score:5, Funny)

 by Anonymous Coward  on Thursday December 03, @03:06PM (#30315278)

As a Catholic, let me tell all you greens and bad coders that letting people buy their way out of their sins just gets stuff nailed to your door. But good luck with it anyway.

Re:Why wouldn't they? (Score:5, Insightful)
by Eil (82413) on Wednesday December 02, @08:57PM (#30306526) Homepage Journal

Well, there is still a problem. I can't speak for any of the other social networking sites, but Facebook in particular puts fairly strong emphasis on the concept of publishing information publicly (viewable by anyone) versus publishing information privately (viewable only by "friends", ostensibly). 90% of their users don't grok the concept that putting anything online at all by definition means that the information they post is now beyond their control. Sure, their terms of service say that they can do this but the public has been trained by corporations to not take such contracts seriously, let alone read them.

Sites like Facebook should not be allowed to use the word "private," because their definition of the word actually means, "viewable by your friends, every Facebook employee, law enforcement and investigative agencies, and other undisclosed entities that we sell, lease, or give your information to."

I'm not saying Facebook is doing anything illegal or underhanded, nor am I saying that users shouldn't be bound to the contracts that they agree to no matter how small the print. Just that Facebook and most other online services are seriously misrepresenting their use of the word "private."

Re:The hiss is where it hides (Score:5, Funny)
by plover (150551) * on Wednesday November 18, @01:03AM (#30140300) Homepage Journal

by sunspot42 (455706) on Wednesday November 18, @02:33AM (#30140776)

by petrus4 (213815) on Thursday November 12, @07:35PM (#30081866) Homepage Journal

Re:Evacuate this universe! (Score:5, Funny)
by Anonymusing (1450747) on Friday November 06, @10:11AM (#30005790)

by niktemadur (793971) on Wednesday October 21, @08:06AM (#29821739)

Re:The hiss is where it hides (Score:5, Funny)

 by plover (150551) *  on Wednesday November 18, @01:03AM (#30140300) Homepage Journal  

• Although I would be the first to agree that there is a lot of snake-oil around in the so-called "audiophile" market, there is a place for everything.

• Snake oil? Nonsense.

Everybody calls stuff they don't understand "snake oil", and it's kind of a mistake in the high end audio market. Snake oil is the preferred suspension media for high-end tweeter frames. It is used to fill the struts that mechanically isolate the speaker from the cabinet, ensuring the only hiss you get is that which was on the original recording.

And despite what the so-called audiophiles say, you only have to replace it annually, not quarterly. Snake oil doesn't break down as fast as the other common organic oils (cod or shark liver oil is what most manufacturers recommend,) so it retains its useful viscosity for up to several years. It's absolutely a good idea to replace it before it degrades, but since it's only slightly more expensive than fish oils (at $16.00/ounce [oldwestsnakeoil.com]) when you change it annually it's actually a bargain.

The only problem with snake oil is that since it is an organic oil, it is susceptible to bacterial infection. An infected cylinder doesn't really affect the sound, but the oil tends to give off a foul odor if you let it sit around too long. Some people have tried smearing vaseline around the exposed ends of the inner cylinders to seal the oil so it won't stink, but I think that can affect the sound and I wouldn't recommend it.

Oh, and be sure to get a good quality measuring syringe to change the oil. Being off by more than a few mL can affect the travel of the struts, and that either leaves a mess on the shelf, or raspy highs.

Re:You're accidentally correct (Score:5, Interesting)
by sunspot42 (455706) on Wednesday November 18, @02:33AM (#30140776)

I'm sorry, but this simply isn't the case. Vinyl absolutely cannot "contain" any loud low frequency stereo signal - at least, nothing that was put there intentionally. The groove would become so shallow the needle would pop out of it and go skidding across the platter. You might be able to record a very soft low-frequency signal onto vinyl, but given the way human hearing works, that would almost certainly be masked by louder low frequency signals further up the audio spectrum in the music. Unless you like to sit around and listen to the output of a pure tone generator, this isn't really much of an "advantage" for vinyl.

Vinyl's inability to handle even moderately loud low bass is the reason why the sound of dance music changed so much starting in the mid-'80s - eventually resulting in things like house music - as CDs became popular and suddenly you could record deep bass at maximum volume and deliver it to consumers unaltered. I recall hearing Pet Shop Boys "I Want A Dog" in 1988 or thereabouts on a high-end sub/sat system at an audio dealer and thinking, "Holy crap! How did they get the bass so loud?" It felt like I'd swallowed a subwoofer it was so loud. You couldn't physically deliver anything like that on vinyl - you would have to roll the deep bass off by many decibels or the groove would literally go flat. Even most consumer tape formats would have had trouble handling that much low-frequency signal, especially given the tape duplication methods used at that time (although at least they'd fail less spectacularly, with tape's fairly warm-sounding saturation).

Discos in the '70s could pump out that kind of deep bass, but they did it using a gadget from dbx called a subharmonic synthesizer, which would produce a note exactly an octave below whatever you fed into it. They'd feed your typical vinyl recording with its anemic bass into the device, and get this pulsating, throbbing audio out. But until CD came around there was no way to deliver that to the home, maybe short of half-speed mastered reel to reel or (possibly) metal cassette tape.

You do get all sorts of low frequency signal coming off of vinyl when you play it, but it's mostly noise - rumble from the motor and pickup in the turntable itself, the scraping of the needle in the groove, low-frequency resonances induced by the playback speakers, and harmonics and low-frequency noise etched into the master itself when that was being cut. All of that garbage robs power from your amplifier and causes scads of distortion in your speakers, screwing up the real signal you're trying to reproduce. It's just another way in which vinyl is not only an awful audio format, but a spectacularly awful audio format. It's not just awful because of what it can't accurately record, it's awful because of all of the noise and artifacts it introduces which cause further distortion of what it has managed to accurately record.

As for high frequency data, yes vinyl can record signals higher than the 20kHz limit of CD, but if you're over 13 and live in the West it's unlikely you can hear any of it. Worse, each time you play a record the needle actually damages it, and the high frequencies are damaged the first and the worst. That's one of the many reasons why the old discrete quad format failed back in the '70s - it used ultrasonic multiplexing to record the quad signal, and that signal rapidly degraded with every playback. Whoops! (The matrix quad formats - which didn't rely on ultrasonics - failed for other reasons.) Beyond that, the vast majority of what signal there is over 20kHz on most vinyl records is pure unadulterated noise which has absolutely nothing to do with the original signal that was recorded. It's hiss, it's harmonic distortion induced in both the cutting head and in your pickup's needle by lower-frequency signals, it's from clicks and pops caused by dust or by imperfections in the surface of the vinyl itself, or it's high-frequency electronic noise, either from the recording studio or from your own playback equipment.

In fact, most studio microphones aren't even sensitive to frequencies beyond 20kHz, and signals above that are often automatically rolled off in the studio in order to eliminate any ultrasonic noise, which can cause freaky non-linear behaviors in tape recorders as well as in certain circuits. Beyond that, the instruments most likely to generate any significant signals in excess of about 15kHz are the cymbals in drum kits, and those are almost always recorded with mics which top off at around 18kHz, well below the CD's frequency limit. There's been a ton of double-blind testing conducted over the years regarding ultrasonic signals, and at the levels they'd naturally occur at in music nobody can tell the difference between a signal that's cut off at 20kHz and one that isn't.

Vinyl is a really sh*tty audio format, and has been for decades. There's been better technology kicking around out there since at least the 1960's, and it's amazing vinyl lasted as long as it did. If it hadn't been displaced by CD it almost certainly would have been killed off by the lowly cassette, which by the end of its own far shorter commercial lifespan had evolved from a lowly dictation medium into a pretty high-fidelity audio format. It had its own shortcomings, but done right - which pre-recorded cassettes seldom were - it was certainly capable of blowing vinyl away in every relevant measure, including frequency response, signal to noise ratio, dynamic range and especially harmonic distortion. Not only did the cassette suffer from less harmonic distortion, the distortion it did suffer from was far less annoying.

When I see "audiophiles" wax poetic about vinyl or shell out thousands of dollars on vinyl kit, or brag about vinyl's performance relative to CD, I just shake my head. It would be like spending $75,000 to buy a Pacer or a Gremlin, and then trying to compare it to a new Porsche 911. I mean, sure you can compare it, but not favorably!

Re:4chan (Score:4, Insightful)
by petrus4 (213815) on Thursday November 12, @07:35PM (#30081866) Homepage Journal

Mod parent +5,000, Insightful.

Seriously; if maintaining your level of faith in the compassion, empathy, and fundamental decency of the human species is something you care about, don't ever visit 4chan.

That site is very little more than a showcase of the very worst, morally, psychologically, and emotionally, that humanity is capable of.

Re:Evacuate this universe! (Score:5, Funny)

 by Anonymusing (1450747)  on Friday November 06, @10:11AM (#30005790) 

Reminds me of a joke.

In a park far away, two statues stood staring at each other across a fountain. One was a beautiful woman, the other a handsome man, both naked. One day, an angel appeared, waved his hand, and brought the statues to life. "You have been staring at each other for so long," said the angel, "that I would like to give you 30 minutes to enjoy each other's company."

The two people grinned at each other and ran into the bushes. The angel heard much giggling and merriment from them as he waited. Then, sweaty and out of breath, the two came back.

The angel looked at his watch. "You still have another ten minutes!"

"Awesome!" said the man to the woman. "This time, you hold the pigeon and I'll shit on his head!"

Re:125 MORE years until the US gets time... (Score:4, Interesting)
by niktemadur (793971) on Wednesday October 21, @08:06AM (#29821739)

...

Neil DeGrasse Tyson did a gentleman's job at explaining the concept during a lecture available on the web:

• The Greeks named the constellations (while inventing the concept), so we still use the Greek names for them.
• The great Islamic culture of a thousand years ago named the visible stars, so we still use the Arab names (Alnitak, Alnilam, Mintaka, Rigel and Betelgeuse, to name a few just from Orion). FWIW, my favorite star name is the tip of the Big Dipper's handle - Al Kaid, which means "leader of the mourning maidens".
• The Brits invented the modern system of correspondence and postage, so their stamp is the only one that does not specify the country of origin, to this day.
• The North Americans invented the Internet, so USA websites are dot-com, while the rest of the world uses dot-com-dot-suffix.

All I'm saying is, in a modern world with thousands of pockets of eccentric engineers, it's comforting to find examples of global standardization, and the time zones is one of them.

The Helicopter Problem

The Helicopter Problem

Re:From what I've discovered... (Score:5, Funny)
by tomhudson (43916) <hudson@vidPOLLOCKeotron.ca minus painter> on Sunday October 18, @04:42PM (#29786745) Journal

"How would you like your eggs?"

"Dead".

"Very funny. How would you like your eggs served?"

"On a plate would be a good start."

"No, I mean, how would you like them cooked?"

"On a stove?"

"Do you want them sunny-side up, scrambled, poached, or over easy?"

"Yes. That's certainly better than raw."

"Which one?"

"You mean I have to choose which egg I want cooked? You can't do them both?"

"How do you want your eggs?"

"You can't do them the way I want them."

"We can do them ANY way you want them."

"Okay, then I want them for free."

Re:From what I've discovered... (Score:5, Funny)
by Nerdfest (867930) on Sunday October 18, @06:10PM (#29787485)

Dude, you're going to get your eggs with saliva.

Re:Recent Stonehenge Excavations (Score:5, Interesting)
by osu-neko (2604) on Sunday October 04, @05:14AM (#29633613)

| | Pip, pip cheerio. Ring 'round for some scones and tea, eh guvnuh?

| You seem to have started on 'aristocrat', gone via 'edwardian mill-owner' and ended up on 'hackney carriage driver'.

Yes, alas, a lot of Americans don't seem to grasp that there are many quite different British accents. It all gets lumped into one non-existent "British accent", presumably spoken by aristocratic Scottish chimney sweeps born to the sound of the Bow Bells in Victorian-era Calcutta, growing up as Oxford educated street urchins in the back-alleys of Serbiton and eventually settling down in the East End of Cardiff.

Re:Geek funeral? (Score:5, Insightful)
by Beardo the Bearded (321478) on Wednesday September 30, @12:52AM (#29589407)

I want nothing left of my corpse.

Give any useful organs away. Let a child see a sunset through my corneas; let my heart break again in the ribcage of a teenager; let my lungs have their breath taken away when holding a new infant.

My skeleton can inspire and educate biology students. My brain can shed new light on diseases, either ones I don't know I have yet or as a control group.

When I'm dead, I'm done with the meatsack. Anyone who wants it can have it.

by osu-neko (2604) on Sunday October 04, @05:14AM (#29633613)

Re:Recent Stonehenge Excavations (Score:5, Interesting)
by osu-neko (2604) on Sunday October 04, @05:14AM (#29633613)

| | Pip, pip cheerio. Ring 'round for some scones and tea, eh guvnuh?

| You seem to have started on 'aristocrat', gone via 'edwardian mill-owner' and ended up on 'hackney carriage driver'.

Yes, alas, a lot of Americans don't seem to grasp that there are many quite different British accents. It all gets lumped into one non-existent "British accent", presumably spoken by aristocratic Scottish chimney sweeps born to the sound of the Bow Bells in Victorian-era Calcutta, growing up as Oxford educated street urchins in the back-alleys of Serbiton and eventually settling down in the East End of Cardiff.

Re:Geek funeral? (Score:5, Insightful)
by Beardo the Bearded (321478) on Wednesday September 30, @12:52AM (#29589407)

I want nothing left of my corpse.

Give any useful organs away. Let a child see a sunset through my corneas; let my heart break again in the ribcage of a teenager; let my lungs have their breath taken away when holding a new infant.

My skeleton can inspire and educate biology students. My brain can shed new light on diseases, either ones I don't know I have yet or as a control group.

When I'm dead, I'm done with the meatsack. Anyone who wants it can have it.

T' me,
Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho,
It's "Talk Like A Pirate" Day!
That time in September when sea dogs remember
That grown-ups still know how ta play!
When wenches are curvy and dogs are all scurvy
And a soft-wear patch covers your eye,
Ta hell with our jobs, for one day we're all swabs \\

So hoist up the mainsils and shut down your brain cells,
They only would get in the way,
Avast there, me hearty, we're havin' a party, \\

Ahoy, me hearty! (Score:2, Funny)
by Memroid (898199) on Saturday September 19, @04:14AM (#29474991)

T' me, Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho, It's "Talk Like A Pirate" Day! That time in September when sea dogs remember That grown-ups still know how ta play! When wenches are curvy and dogs are all scurvy And a soft-wear patch covers your eye, Ta hell with our jobs, for one day we're all swabs And buccaneers all till we die!

So hoist up the mainsils and shut down your brain cells, They only would get in the way, Avast there, me hearty, we're havin' a party, It's "Talk... Like... A Pirate" Day!

On Scientific Experimentation of Airborne Necromancy (i.e. launching dead squirrels)

On Scientific Experimentation of Aerial Necromancy (i.e. launching dead squirrels)

A treatise on the launching of dead squirrels

Re:Morton's Fork (Score:5, Funny)
by Herby Sagues (925683) on Monday August 24, @10:20PM (#29181241)

Mr. Spammer, you swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas. I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you. P.S. You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine,conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good. In other words, go away. Your mother is a whore and the daughter of a whore. Your father was likely her brother, but could have been any of her cousins. I'd have a second deliver a card on a silver platter, but your kind generally wouldn't understand it, and doesn't deserve much more than a dog-whipping anyway. You havn't got a clue. You couldn't get a clue if you smeared yourself with clue musk and danced the clue mating dance in a field full of horny clues in clue mating season. Your eyebrows meet in the middle, your forehead slopes, your pet gerbil wants you dead. Your mother would dress you funny if she could afford clothes. You're the primary reason bigots hate your ethnic group. You were obviously not toilet-trained correctly, which explains the stains on the floor of your cardboard box. Your webbed feet go well with the pointy forehead. Your manners are hideous, your brain minute, and your body odor could fell an ox. You would fit in on a short bus to a convention of Fundies. You are a living, breathing poster-child for birth-control and abortion. I hope you go away painfully.

Summer of 79 by Bill Gates (Score:5, Funny)
by InsertWittyNameHere (1438813) on Monday July 27, @10:27AM (#28836877)

I got my first real PC
Bought it at the CompUSA
Coded 'til my fingers bled
It was summer of '79

Me and some guys from school
Had a company and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit and Jody got married
I shoulda known we'd never get far

Oh when I look back now
That summer seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Ya - I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life ...

WARNING: Time travel only occurs in one direction \\

by soupforare (542403) <soupforare@gmail.com> on Monday June 01, @08:41PM (#28176169)

Travel THROUGH TIME (Score:4, Funny) \\

On what to do when life gives you lemons...

Travel THROUGH TIME (Score:4, Funny) by soupforare (542403) <soupforare@gmail.com> on Monday June 01, @08:41PM (http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=1251665&cid=28176169)

Take your lemons, go get some oranges, limes, cheap wine (Gallo Hearty Burgundy), cheap rum (Castillo gold) and good ginger ale (Polar). Thinly slice up half your fruit, put it in a big pitcher with a cup of sugar, a cup of rum and the wine. Let it soak in the fridge for 24-48 hours. Strain, add freshly sliced fruit (I like adding sliced strawberries now) and just enough ginger ale to give it a little bubbles. DRINK

WARNING: Time travel only occurs in one direction You may or may not arrive with your pants

How many Camera Nerds (Score:5, Funny) \\

How many Camera Nerds (Score:5, Funny) by Kagato (116051) on Sunday January 04, @02:58PM (#26322143)

How many NYC transit cops does it take to push a camera nerd down the stairs?

None, he tripped.