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ProposalForReformingEnglishSpellingFrom http://www.solutionsunlimited.com/english.htm: The "News Standard" has received this bulletin fresh from our Brussels-based news service. The European Union commissioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications rather than German which was the other possibility. During the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that the problems associated with spelling in the English language left some room for improvement. The Government has accepted The European Union Commission's five year plan to correct these problems. The corrections will be phased in during the implementation for what will be known as Euro English (Euro for short). In the first year, s will be used instead of the soft c. Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard c will be replased with k. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but the typewriter keyboards kan now have one less kharakter. There will be growing publik enthusiasim in the sekond year when the troublesome ph will be replased by the f. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter. In the third year, publik akkeptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. The Government will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterant to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre, that the horible mes of the silent e in the languag is disgrasful, and it will also go. During the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing th with the more popular z and ze w by ze v. Zen in ze fifz year, ze unesesary o kan be dropd from vords kontaining ou and similar changes vil of kurs be aplied to ozer kombinations of leters. After ze fifz year, ve vil hav a realy sensibl styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrvun vil find it easy to understand each ozr. Ze dream vil finaly kom tru. Donald. |