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AllPurposeApologyMain.AllPurposeApology HistoryHide minor edits - Show changes to markup December 18, 2009, at 11:51 PM
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Gardiner Westbound @ theglobeandmail.com to:
Posted by Gardiner Westbound @ theglobeandmail.com December 18, 2009, at 11:51 PM
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(Enter name or alias here:) to:
(Enter name or alias here) December 18, 2009, at 11:51 PM
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Sincerely, (Enter name or alias here:) to:
Sincerely, November 16, 2009, at 10:28 PM
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Dear: A) Mom, B) Dad, C) Love of my life, D) Assistant Principal, to:
Dear: Changed lines 12-16 from:
Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am that your A) car B) house C) pet D) espresso maker to:
Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am that your Changed lines 19-23 from:
was severely damaged by my A) infantile B) puerile C) inept D) comically brilliant but nonetheless sadistic to:
was severely damaged by my Changed lines 26-30 from:
prank. How could I have known that the A) car B) jet ski C) large helium balloon D) rodent driven sledge to:
prank. How could I have known that the Changed lines 33-37 from:
I was riding in would go so far out of control? And while it is true that I should not have pointed it in the direction of your A) house, B) wife, C) Cub Scout troop, D) 1/16 sized replica of the Statue of Liberty, complete with light bulb in the torch, to:
I was riding in would go so far out of control? And while it is true that I should not have pointed it in the direction of your Changed lines 40-44 from:
You must understand that it was all meant in fun. The subsequent carnage that I caused is beyond my ability to A) imagine, B) fathom, C) comprehend, D) appreciate, to:
You must understand that it was all meant in fun. The subsequent carnage that I caused is beyond my ability to Changed lines 47-51 from:
And I must therefore humbly ask your forgiveness. I know that you are perfectly within your rights to A) hate me, B) sue me, C) spank me, D) take my firstborn, to:
And I must therefore humbly ask your forgiveness. I know that you are perfectly within your rights to Changed lines 54-58 from:
but I ask you to remember all the good times we've had, joshing around at A) school, B) work, C) church, D) the bowling alley, to:
but I ask you to remember all the good times we've had, joshing around at Changed lines 61-65 from:
and to remember that I am first and foremost your A) friend. B) child. C) sibling. D) lease cosigner. to:
and to remember that I am first and foremost your Changed lines 68-72 from:
I think that counts for more than one prank, especially one that A) was so stupid. B) was so silly. C) would have been funny if it worked. D) you would have done, if you had thought of it first. to:
I think that counts for more than one prank, especially one that November 16, 2009, at 10:27 PM
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Gardiner Westbound @ theglobeandmail.com ALL PURPOSE APOLOGY Dear: A) Mom, B) Dad, C) Love of my life, D) Assistant Principal, E) Your Honor, Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am that your A) car B) house C) pet D) espresso maker E) left arm was severely damaged by my A) infantile B) puerile C) inept D) comically brilliant but nonetheless sadistic E) woefully under appreciated prank. How could I have known that the A) car B) jet ski C) large helium balloon D) rodent driven sledge E) Zamboni I was riding in would go so far out of control? And while it is true that I should not have pointed it in the direction of your A) house, B) wife, C) Cub Scout troop, D) 1/16 sized replica of the Statue of Liberty, complete with light bulb in the torch, E) priceless collection of Rolling Stone beer cans, You must understand that it was all meant in fun. The subsequent carnage that I caused is beyond my ability to A) imagine, B) fathom, C) comprehend, D) appreciate, E) pay for, And I must therefore humbly ask your forgiveness. I know that you are perfectly within your rights to A) hate me, B) sue me, C) spank me, D) take my firstborn, E) gouge out my eyes with spoons and feed them to the fish in your koi pond, but I ask you to remember all the good times we've had, joshing around at A) school, B) work, C) church, D) the bowling alley, E) the municipal jail, and to remember that I am first and foremost your A) friend. B) child. C) sibling. D) lease cosigner. E) only possible match should you ever need a bone marrow transplant. I think that counts for more than one prank, especially one that A) was so stupid. B) was so silly. C) would have been funny if it worked. D) you would have done, if you had thought of it first. E) I'm going to use again on someone else. Sincerely, (Enter name or alias here:) |